


The Sorcerer's Child

by BookshopLaura



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-13
Updated: 2016-05-19
Packaged: 2018-02-21 02:18:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 29,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2451023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BookshopLaura/pseuds/BookshopLaura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin makes a promise to a dying woman, and finds himself with a lot more than he bargained for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Sorceress

Merlin glances behind him. Arthur and the rest of the knights are still quite a way behind him. They're chasing a sorcerer and Merlin tries not to let it chill his bones that it could so easily be him they're tracking. But it isn't. Using his magic to look forward he quickly spies the young woman. Poor and scared, she is running haphazardly through the undergrowth, glancing behind her more than looking ahead. Merlin shakes himself from the spell and resumes his chase. If he can get to her first maybe he can help, can hide her. He must try something. 

A piercing scream halts his steps. It came from right ahead. Merlin plunges on again, head strong and foolish; nearly hurling himself over the same hidden ridge the sorceress has. For a moment Merlin looks hopelessly down. The woman lies at the bottom, lying awkwardly, arms sprawled. He gulps and looks around helpless, but the knights and Arthur are still far behind him. He looks down again, holding back tears when suddenly the woman's eyes opens and she lets out a pitiful moan.

Merlin scrambles down the ridge as fast as he can, falling the last few feet, then hurrying to her side. It's obvious from the way she's lying and the trickle of blood oozing from her nose that she probably won't survive. Her conscious eyes seem half pleading half scared, begging for mercy.

"It's okay. I'm not going to hurt you." says Merlin. He glances around warily to make sure the knights are still not here before he quickly casts a spell. All it does is rustle the leaves but he can see in the woman's eyes that she understands. Her eyes widen in fear again as the sound of the approaching knights breaks the calm of the forest.

"B...b..." 

"It's okay!" says Merlin, hushing her, squeezing her shoulder reassuringly. 

"Baby... please m... baby!"

"Baby?" Merlin frowns for a moment, looking around. There is nothing around them, the woman clearly wasn't carrying anything. He looks back at her, confused. 

"Promise, please! My baby!" she splutters desperately, trying with little success to push herself up. 

"I promise!" says Merlin clutching her hand, to show he agrees, that he promises. 

With that the sound of the knights erupts around them as they round the ridge, and the woman's features crumple into a grimace, then relaxes as her whole body goes limp. Her hand lies lifeless in Merlin's, her eyes staring blankly up at the forest canopy. 

Merlin sits over her for a moment until he feels Arthur at his side. 

"What happened?" asks Arthur. Merlin turns to look at him, trying to hide the upset he feels.

"She... ran over the ravine." Merlin says taking deep breaths. He shouldn't be this affected by death, he's seen it many times before. But there's something so pathetic, so pitiful about this woman's death. And it hits so close to home. How easily could it have been him running away, chased like a dog by his own friends. 

"It's okay, Merlin." says Arthur, wrapping what is meant to be a comforting arm around Merlin's shoulders. Merlin tries to hide his shudder. 

"If you need to be sick..." Arthur adds, sounding concerned. Merlin shakes himself, looking back at the sorceress and then at Arthur. 

"It's not that... Arthur, she has a... there's a child. A baby." he says quietly.


	2. The Child

"Merlin, we are not going looking for the possibly imaginary baby of a sorcerer." moans Arthur stomping after Merlin. 

"Why would she lie in her dying breath about having a child?" says Merlin without even turning his head. 

Arthur's eyes roll dramatically,

"I don't know, Merlin! She was a sorcerer! Why are you so bothered anyway?" he asks obviously. 

"I promised her I'd... I'd.. the baby." mutters Merlin charging ahead. 

"You'd what the baby?" asks Arthur, finally catching Merlin up and grabbing his arm. For a moment Merlin merely looks at him sheepishly. 

"Look after the baby?" says Merlin uncertainly. Arthur's hands go to his hips.

"Merlin! You can't... what do you even know about babies?" he demands.

"I don't know... not a lot, Arthur" replies Merlin. "But I have to do something, I promised" and then he turns and continues walking. Arthur throws his hands up, looks around in exasperation, shakes his head and then follows Merlin.

"This doesn't get you out of your chores!" he shouts.

\---

Merlin heads straight back to the village the woman had been chased from, his head swimming. Frankly the accusations had seemed trumped up. Why anyone with magic would levitate a bowl of soup to hover up into the air and then spill it on the head of the local lord he has no idea. It had sounded both suicidal and ridiculous. But the whole village had claimed they saw her do it. That was why they had locked her away and written to Arthur, demanding she be executed. Merlin's impressed they had had the patience not to just burn her and be done with it. Personally Merlin thinks that has more to do with the fact that said local lord had inadvertently insulted Arthur not a week ago. He wants to get back into Arthur's good book, and thought having Arthur attend an execution would do that. Uther probably will be impressed when Arthur reports back, but Merlin could see the tight set of Arthur's mouth, the tightness in his jaw as they had dragged the crying, clearly frightened woman out for judgement. 

And Merlin thinks Arthur might have done something to help her if she hadn't used her magic. Upon hearing her baby crying, cradled in the arms of an old woman, she had somehow managed to physically throw aside the men restraining her. She was a thin creature, and the two men had been thrown several metres into the air. Merlin had been taken aback; he'd been so convinced she had no magic at all. And then a number of the crowd had been flung back too and the woman had looked at the exit she had created, then looked back at the crowd judging her, at Arthur drawing his sword, and had run. 

That's when he and Arthur and the knights had given chase. 

And now Merlin is marching almost as fast, back to the village. He can hear Arthur's unenthusiastic pursuit. The rest of the knights have remained to bring back the body. The village will probably want to burn it. Merlin shakes his head a little, as if to shake the thought from his head. There is nothing he can do if that is what they want. She was reckless with her magic and Arthur won't support him. Besides, it won't help her. She's dead now. All he can do is as he promised. Find the baby.

\---

In the end it's easy to track down the child. As soon as they enter the village via it's sodden, muddy path they are greeted by the shrill screams of a baby. Admittedly it could be any baby, they aren't uncommon in poor country families. But there is another peasant woman hanging her washing out, her own child tied to her back, who keeps turning and glaring pointedly in the direction of the screams as if she's keeping an eye on a dangerous creature. Merlin doesn't bother asking, but instead simply turns towards the hovel which is emitting the piercing cry. 

Inside the hovel is dark and smoky and incredibly loud. The only window is small and covered over with a rag. The floor is trodden mud and straw and the little furniture that adorns it. Merlin doesn't need to see Arthur's face to know that when he enters his nose turns up in disgust. But he turns to give him a look anyway, and Arthur looks a little embarrassed and schools his features into a more dignified look. At the far end of the hovel (which isn't far, the other side of a table, beside a rough looking bed with straw sticking out) Merlin sees a figure, bouncing and twisting and making shushing noises. The figure is dressed in old, worn clothes, but they aren't rags. Poor but not the poorest. The painful sound is coming from it and as it turns around it is revealed to be the same old woman with white hair and deep set wrinkles who had held the baby at the attempted execution. Her wrinkles seem even more deeply set as she tries to stroke the side of the babies face, which is bright red, almost purple. Merlin's just about to speak when

"Are babies supposed to be that loud?" asks Arthur loudly. The old lady jumps, making the babies crying even higher for a moment.

"My lord, I mean, Your Highness, I'm sorry. Please forgive me, please! I can't quiet her, I'm sorry!" she babbles, clearly upset. Merlin glares at Arthur as the woman keeps on apologising. 

"It's okay. We're not here to complain about the baby," says Arthur firmly. The woman stills, then nods her head slowly, sadly.

"Her mother is dead then." she says. 

"Yes. I'm sorry." says Merlin and he means it. Arthur doesn't question it, doesn't even look at Merlin. He's become sensible enough of the feelings of others for that.

"It was an accident, in the end, if it's any consolation." says Arthur quietly.

"She fell, broke her neck. It was very quick." The old woman nods, the only emotion she seems to show is tiredness. 

"There is that I suppose. Saved you a job." Arthur frowns, but Merlin jumps in.

"Are you her Grandmother?" he says nodding to the still screeching baby, hoping that he can keep his promise this easily.

"Oh no. No! Just a neighbour. Can't go leaving babies all alone. But she isn't mine." 

"What will happen to her?" he asks, his heart falling.

"I don't know, my lord." Arthur raises an eyebrow at Merlin being addressed so.

"I'll try and take care of her I suppose, but I'm 83 and I won't live forever. No one else in the village will take her in, my lord. She's tainted, you see. She's cursed."

"Because of her mother?" asks Arthur, finally showing a little interest.

"Surely they wouldn't blame her for her mother's crimes?" 

"Blame her? No! But share the meagre bread they do have with her? She'll have a hard life, Sire. And not a very long one, that's for sure." she finishes, sounding deadly certain.

"Then we'll take her."

"You?" 

"Yes." Merlin can feel in the way his cheeks are reddening how much Arthur is glaring at him. 

"We'll take her to Camelot. Say we found an orphan in the village while we were here, and we'll find a new home for her." he says smiling at Arthur hopefully. Arthur just keeps glaring for a moment. When the ladies face lights up, despite the child still screaming like a banshee, Arthur rolls his eyes and runs a hand through his hair.

"Okay, fine. But...BUT you are to look after her the whole way back, and you are still to do your usual chores AND AS SOON as we get to Camelot, you will find a new home for her. On your own. And I don't want her screaming the entire ride home!"


	3. The Journey Home

"Merlin! Will you please shut that brat up before I run it through with my sword!" yells Arthur angrily, turning round on his horse to glare at Merlin. 

"You wouldn't!" snaps Merlin, tying to shush the child and ride at the same time. He was failing at former and struggling with the latter.

"Wouldn't I?" says Arthur as Merlin's horse eventually draws alongside his, and he sends a withering look at the red faced, wide mouthed infant lying swaddled in Merlin's arms. She doesn't seem to notice, turns more into Merlin and lets out another loud burst of cries. Merlin purses his lips and shakes his head at Arthur.

"At least we know she's got a good set of lungs on 'er" pipes Gwaine from behind them.

"Shut up, Gwaine" snaps Arthur.

"Well it's true, Princess. No kid with bad lungs could scream for four hours straight." Merlin sends a look over his shoulder at Gwaine then. 

"I know it's annoying, but she's just a baby and she's lost her mother. Show some sympathy." says Merlin. The baby's screams get louder and suddenly she's thrashing and Merlin has to take his hands of the reins to stop her from falling from his arms. His horse stops, his ears pricking uneasily at the sounds above him. Arthur halts his own horse in annoyance, and leans back as far as he can to grab the reins of Merlin's horse, before spurring them both on. When he's got both up to a reasonable pace he turns to Merlin with a little more emotion.

"I am not lacking in sympathy Merlin, believe me. And no, I wasn't serious about running her through with a sword. But that sound is getting unbearable, and she's slowing us down. We should be in Camelot by now and we're not even half way! Every time she coughs you stop your horse! You've had to feed her three times already and we all had to stop for that!"

"So what, you want me to starve her? Or maybe just leave her to die in the forest?" says Merlin, eyes wide, lips pursed. He'd fold his arms but the baby is in the way. 

"No! Of course not!"

"Then what do you want me to do?" 

"Right now, Merlin? Right now just shutting her up would be really good!" 

 

\---

"It's no good. We'll have to camp for the night." says Arthur, halting his horse as he turns to the knights. The baby is crying, again. Merlin has fed her, changed her, burped her, rocked her and even tried quietly singing to her (which earned him a strange look and then, when he'd continued, an actual laugh from Arthur), but she's still crying. He's getting worried, he can't work out what it is she wants or needs. So he just keeps walking around, jiggling her gently up and down and walking in little figures of eight whilst the knights set about setting up camp. Arthur heads of grumpily, declaring he's going to try and catch dinner. Gwaine rolls his eyes and Leon and Percival send him sympathetic looks as they clear the floor to prepare a fire. 

His legs getting tired, Merlin carefully sits down against a fallen tree. With a bit of manoeuvring he manages to get the baby laid across his chest. She's still whimpering and moaning, but she has quieted. Drawing his knees up, Merlin kisses the top of the baby's head. She smells nice. He sends a guilty look across the camp site, but no one saw him, and Arthur's not there. He's the only one who would be bothered. Smiling, he wraps his arms loosely around the baby and watches the camp fire as it comes to life. It's warm and soothing, and the gentle crackle is relaxing. Within minutes Merlin's head rolls forward and he is asleep.

\---

Arthur returns with a couple of rabbits that really had no business being out that late in the evening. He looks around to throw them at Merlin to start preparing and sees him hunched against a fallen tree. His head has rolled forward and his Arthur has a strong suspicion that Merlin is asleep. He grits his teeth and turns away a little, annoyed. He spots an unsuspecting Gwaine, who is sat prodding the fire with a stick and throws the rabbits into his unsuspecting lap. 

"Prepare these." 

With that he walks loudly over to Merlin. For a moment he stands over him, watching, hands on hips, fingers tapping in irritation. He waits, expecting Merlin to look up any moment and either look embarrassed or insolent. Either way he's preparing to raise his eyebrow. Except that Merlin doesn't. It's only as he's standing there awkwardly that Arthur realises that the baby isn't crying any more, but sleeping soundly. Kneeling down for a closer look he can see she has a handful of Merlin's neckerchief bundled in her tiny hand, and has the thumb of the same hand in her thumb. She's dribbling terribly and Merlin's scarf is developing an impressive damp patch. Arthur grimaces, but doesn't move to move her. After hours of listening to her screaming he was in no mood to set her off again. 

Deciding that trying to rouse Merlin would have the same effect, he got up and moved to start setting up a bed for the night. As he unrolled his sleeping roll, thanking his common sense for insisting that Merlin pack them, just in case, he thought about tomorrow. The baby was bound to cry the rest of the way back, and even the thought of her screaming was grating on Arthur's patience. He glanced back to where she slept on Merlin's chest, as if wary she might be wary and watching, just waiting to start again. But she doesn't. And he has to admit, with her light brown downy hair and chubby little cheeks and fingers, she is rather sweet. He shakes the thought from his head and finishes arranging his bed. He's a knight. He fights in tournaments and thinks about thinks like politics and honour. He doesn't coo over babies. Annoyed at Merlin and the baby he gets a whetstone out of his saddlebag and starts sharpening his sword. 

\---

Merlin wakes what must be hours later to the smell of cooked rabbit. Leon is nudging him gently, careful not to go anywhere near the baby. He's holding out a bowl of broth and smiling gently. Very carefully, holding the baby to him, he sits up. He feels damp against his chest and grimaces. But it's when he goes to lay the baby down on his legs so that he can eat, he discovers her vice-like grip on his scarf. He tries lowering her again, hoping the scarf will slip from her grip, but it only tightens and her face begins to grimace. 

"Here, let me help" says Leon, carefully placing the bowl down, then moving behind Merlin to untie his scarf. Leon moves away as Merlin lays her down straight along his legs, still clutching his scarf in her fingers. Some of it has even made it's way into her mouth. Merlin doesn't even think about moving it. He sits back and carefully leans to pick up the bowl. It's only then, glancing up that he notices Arthur's look of disapproval. He frowns, questioningly.

"Don't get attached to her, Merlin." 

"Very funny, Arthur." says Merlin, rolling his eyes.

"I mean it! I know what you're like. When we get back to Camelot you will need to hand her over to new parents."

"I know." says Merlin seriously, and picks up his bowl of broth. But when he thinks Arthur's not looking he can't help running his fingers over her chubby cheek.


	4. To Camelot

That night Arthur wakes up to a sound he can't place. He looks around. The fire has burnt to embers and Gwaine, who is supposed to be on watch, is dosing against a tree. The sound has stopped and Arthur is nervous. It wasn't right, it didn't fit. He gets up, moving to go and kick Gwaine. Gwaine who should know better than to fall asleep on watch, but as he stands, his armour clinking and leaves rustling, the sound starts again. It's coming from beside him. And now he's more awake he'd recognise it anywhere. The pathetic little moans that are the start of the baby crying. He looks up to the sky in frustration. It's the middle of the night and any minute the baby will have the whole camp awake and will have attracted the attention of every wolf and bandit, thief and general miscreant in the area. He moves to pick her up himself, but then notices that he's still in a lot of armour. Not plate, but chain mail in case of an ambush. Yes, she's wrapped up, but armour is hard, and he doesn't think it'll be enough. So he quickly scopes her up as he's seen Merlin do and places her on his cape, which he'd had piled up as a pillow. Then he scopes the whole lot up. As he starts trying to copy the bobbing, swaying motion he'd seen Merlin adopt she quietens but is still grizzling. He looks around. The rest of the camp is still. 

"She's probably hungry." says Merlin quietly. Merlin's quiet voice beside him makes him jump a little and for a moment the grizzling is a little louder. 

"She's always hungry." moans Arthur, moving to hand Merlin the baby as Merlin passes him a small ceramic jug with a tiny spout. 

"What are you giving me that for?" 

"To feed the baby."

"What?"

"Well, you've got her now, so you might as well feed her." says Merlin, holding the jug towards him, handle first. 

"Merlin, I am not..." begins Merlin. 

"Shhh! You'll wake the others!" says Merlin, still holding out the jug. Arthur tries glaring at him for a while and eventually, glaring back and mouth twitching with insults that Arthur thinks he might feel inclined to be insulted by if he hears, Merlin moves to take the baby. They're close, Merlin having to slide his arms between Arthur's and the baby. The baby feels the movement and squirms more, her grumbling becoming louder and higher. 

"Idiot." mutters Merlin under his breath as he pulls away with the baby, and there's genuine annoyance in it.

"Merlin, I am the Crown Prince and you're the one who..." begins Arthur affronted, remembering to whisper.

"You were already holding her! All you had to do was gently pour some milk into her mouth!" hisses Merlin, picking up the jug and placing the tip of the jug to the baby's mouth. But she cries out louder and shakes her head, her chubby hands flailing out. 

"See! Now she won't take it!" he whispers vehemently.

"Boys' if you're trying to be quiet, you're failing." says Gwaine calmly if tiredly.

"Oh, I'm sorry if we're keeping you up, Gwaine!" says Arthur sarcastically.

"It's not like you're supposed to be on watch or anything!" 

Merlin places the jug down and carefully starts standing up. 

"Where are you going?" demands Arthur.

"I need to settle her. I'm just going to walk for a bit." 

"You can't go alone!" says Arthur incredulously. 

"She's not going to settle here, and she'll only wake everyone up." says Merlin, hand covering his eyes in frustration. 

"Then I'm going with you." states Arthur, picking himself up to.

"Good, both of you push off!" says Gwaine, and they both turn to look at him. 

"When we get back, you better still be awake!" says Arthur, pointing his sword at him.

\---

Arthur charges ahead, but Merlin walks at his own pace, gently rocking the baby as he walks and eventually she soothes a little, holding the little jug as steady as he can between his fingers. He stops after a while and, holding the baby with only one arm, he brings the little jug to her mouth again. It's darker here, deeper into the forest and no embers to provide even the faintest light. For a moment he thinks she's shake her head again, but then he feels a slight pull and very carefully he tips the jug. It's an art, getting both the baby and the jug at the right angle to pour the milk into her mouth to feed her and not choke her. He's only half succeeding and is tempted to use magic when he hears Arthur tramping back through the forest. He doesn't move, doesn't even look up. 

"Shhh, she's feeding!" he hisses vehemently. Arthur halts immediately. Then after a moment he says 

"Has she finished." 

"No," says Merlin. 

Arthur stays still for a few moments longer, then tentatively steps forward. He's standing next to Merlin and in the dark it feels closer, more intimate. Merlin can hear his breathing along with the baby's suckling noises. 

"Is she okay?" he asks more quietly. 

"Yeah, she's fine. Just hungry." Merlin replies. He's confused. Arthur's acting strangely. 

"Look, I know you think I'm just being mean, but you really can't get attached to her! Merlin, you can't keep her." 

"I know that." says Merlin sadly, but then turns to him.

"Why did that stop you from feeding her?" he asks. Arthur is quiet.

"You're not getting a..."

"Don't be ridiculous, Merlin!" grumbles Arthur, and turns back towards the camp. The jug empty, Merlin lifts the baby onto his shoulder to burp her as he walks back, smiling.

\---

The next day's ride is as painful as the first, although at least this time it's quicker. Merlin has managed to make a sling of sorts out of some material (which may or may not have been Arthur's cape, which he may or may not have known about until he saw Merlin wearing it as a sling) and the baby is tightly wrapped to his front, leaving at least one of Merlin's hands free for the reins. Arthur keeps looking at him incredulously and making huffing noises and Merlin just rolls his eyes. But it's not just Arthur. There's the occasional smattering of chuckles from the knights, but there's outright staring and glares as they ride into Camelot. Merlin frowns as he sees people whisper behind their hands, frowning at a baby they can't even see behind the red cape. He glances across at Arthur whose face has gone from 'you're such an embarrassment' to 'you've done something incredibly stupid and I'm going to throttle you with my bare hands as soon as we've dismounted. Merlin looks at him confused, but Arthur turns away and starts riding a little faster, making a distance between himself and Merlin. Merlin doesn't mind. 

Over the cobbles he falls behind the rest of the knights in an attempt not to wake the baby and rides in as Arthur is greeting his father. He dismounts carefully, and is walking towards a side door when he hears Uther's voice boom out across the courtyard.

"Arthur, what is the meaning of this! Why is your manservant carrying a baby wrapped in your cloak?"


	5. Introductions

"Father, I can explain." says Arthur, going bright red which isn't helping the situation. 

Merlin, wrapping his arms protectively around the baby, makes his way over to where Arthur stands.

"I'm sure you can. But forgive me if I do not find your answer acceptable." spits Uther, glaring with obvious disdain at the bundle wrapped around Merlin.

"Father, she's just a peasant's child!" 

"Is it your peasant child?" demands Uther in a low and dangerous voice.

"No!" Merlin is almost affronted that Arthur is so determined not to be associated with the child, to distance himself from her. But then he realises what Uther is suggesting and his eyes go wide. 

"Arthur, I will only ask this once! Is it your bastard?" No wonder Arthur had glared at him. 

"No, Father." says Arthur seriously, standing up straighter and looking Uther straight in the eye. For a moment Uther holds his gaze, judging. But Arthur has shrugged off his initial embarrassment. Finally Uther seems convinced.

"Then it is your manservant's bastard?" asks Uther, turning a not quite as furious glare at Merlin,

"What, no! It's not like that at all." says Merlin. Uther's glare becomes more intense but Arthur steps in. 

"Father, she isn't Merlin's either. Regardless of how attached he has become." Uther raises a questioning eyebrow, suggesting he's suspicious. 

"What I mean that Merlin is a simple, soft hearted fool. The child is recently orphaned. Her mother...

The pauses is barely audible unless you were listening for it. Merlin's heart is beating so hard he can feel it and he's sure the baby can too. 

"... died in a tragic accident, a fall, whilst we were in the village dealing with the sorcerer. Her father was not known in the village, believed to have abandoned the mother soon after the child's birth. The village is very poor and none could afford to care for her. So,Merlin, kind hearted as he is, offered to bring her back to Camelot to find someone able to." 

"... and why is she wrapped in your cloak?" asks Uther, brow raised. 

"To save time, Father. It allowed Merlin to ride more easily. That is all!" says Arthur pointedly, not looking away from his father. Uther regards Merlin carefully for a moment. His eyes fall on the way the Cape is wrapped around Merlin, tied around his back. It's certainly not the conventional way to wrap up a baby.

"Of course." says Uther, seemingly coming to a conclusion. 

"Your manservant is to be commended for his charity. However, I would appreciate if next time he expresses this... generosity in a less conspicuous way." says Uther. Arthur nods appreciatively and turns to usher Merlin inside.

"Arthur!" His father's voice halts Arthur again.

"I suggest for everyone's sakes that you find the child a new home as soon as possible." 

\---

"You are the biggest idiot in the entire world! Do you know that!" shouts Arthur as they march inside. 

"I didn't think..."

"No, Merlin you didn't think!" he says turning on Merlin. For a moment Merlin stands angrily staring back, but then as Arthur turns away he says

"Well neither did you!" says Merlin, his brow knitting together as he follows Arthur. Arthur turns around again, eyes flaring.

"Merlin I... Merlin you're not bringing that thing into my chambers!" he shouts glaring at the bundle tied to Merlin's chest, which immediately starts screaming.

"She's not a thing! She's a baby!" says Merlin, and he turns away from Arthur frowning. He doesn't know why he feels a lump in his throat and a sense of betrayal. The baby is not his or Arthur's and he will have to find her another home soon, but he thought he'd seen another side of Arthur, a tenderness. It's unreasonable, he knows it is. Arthur owes nothing to this child. He tells himself he's tired because of his interrupted sleep and stressful journey. 

"Fine, whatever! Go and get rid of her and..." says Arthur grumpily.

"What do you mean, get rid of her?"

"Take her to your chambers." 

"I can't leave her alone!" 

"Then leave her with Gaius!"

"Gaius will be out visiting patients now!"

"Then give her to a maid or something!" 

"Fine!" says Merlin with as much venom as he can squeeze into one word, and walks away. 

\---

Merlin spends at least half an hour looking for Gwen, but she is no where to be found. When he asks another passing maid he discovers that she has taken the day off to visit her father. The young woman is a friend of Gwen's. About the same age, skin a little darker with eyes that seem sharper than Gwen's. Not to say that Gwen is unintelligent or lacking in awareness, far from it. But she is gentle and there is a softness and acceptance in her eyes that few can match. Her friend's eyes seem to hold a more critical gaze, and she eyes the baby now laying in Merlin's arms with a wary curiosity. 

"Is it true what they say about the baby?" she asks, raising her eyebrows.

"That depends what they are saying."

"That it is Arthur's. That the whole mission was a ruse to bring back his bastard child." 

"No, it's not true. She's just an orphan in need of a home. And right now I need someone to look after her for a few hours but his royal pratness won't let her anywhere near his chambers." The maid turns to look at the babe more closely. The sharpness in her eyes fades and she can't resist the urge the stroke the baby's plump cheek with her finger. 

"Awe, she is sweet one. I've just finished actually. I don't mind watching her for a while."

"Really? That'd be brilliant, Eve, thank you!"

"There's a guest room free two doors along from the Lady Morgana's chambers. I'll be in there." she says carefully taking the baby from Merlin. As soon as she is away from Merlin she starts whimpering again. Merlin quickly unties his scarf and puts it in her hands. As soon as she sense it the baby grips it with her fingers and brings it to her mouth. Merlin waits a moment, but the whimpering continues, getting louder. He needs to get back to Arthur, who'll be fuming already, but leaving the baby seems like tearing part of his heart out. 

"Merlin, go!" says the maid.

"But she's..."

"She'll be fine, it's just crying! I had 7 younger brothers and sisters, I know what I'm doing."

Merlin smiles at her gratefully, and then turns to run to Arthur's chambers.

\---

Arthur is not in a good mood when Merlin arrives, but his temper is improved by the lack of the baby. And yet as Merlin goes about his normal duties his arms feel empty, he feels too light. It's stupid. Holding a baby all the time has stretch muscles in his arms he didn't know he had. It was uncomfortable, painful. Tying her to his front had been more comfortable but still a strain. And now she was gone and even though it had only been two days and two very painful days at that, he felt wrong. The room was too quite despite Arthur trying to talk, and his arms felt empty and useless. He shock himself, this was ridiculous. In a few days he would find her a new family and she'd live with them and he'd rarely see her. She was just a lump of crying, pooing annoyance anyway, why should he miss her? It's not like she was someone he knew, someone who he could talk to. And yet...

"Merlin, will you concentrate!" yells Arthur bring Merlin crashing back into reality.

"What?"

"You were staring into space. You're supposed to be helping me out of my armour! You haven't even got one strap undone yet!" Merlin decides not to honour that with an answer, grits his teeth and shows his annoyance with Arthur by being rough as he pulls off his armour. Arthur notices but only protests by occasionally yelling at Merlin to be more careful. They've just finished when there's a cautious knock at the door. Arthur yells

"Enter!" and timidly the door squeaks open. Even as it does the sound of the baby crying can be heard and automatically Merlin rushes towards Eve, eyes searching for answers. Her own seem fearful, and she glances to Arthur then back to Merlin uncertainly.

"What is it?" asks Merlin.

"You need to take her, I can't look after her."

"Merlin?" demands Arthur's voice. 

"What is it? What's wrong."

"Please, just take her." says Eve, quickly handing the baby over.

"Eve?"

"Merlin, I..." Eve glances over at Arthur, eyes wide. Then she turns to him and whispers.

"She's cursed, Merlin. I can't look after her, I can't." and with that Eve is gone.


	6. Chores & Attachment

"What was that about?" demands Arthur stomping over. Merlin turns around trying to school his features so that they don't show the shock and fear that has just pulsed through him. Could she? Could he have been so wrong? How could he not have noticed? Did she even mean what he thinks she means?

"What! Merlin, I thought I told you..."

"I'm sorry, Arthur. I thought Eve would be able to take her for longer." says Merlin, his hands gripping the baby till his knuckles are white. For a moment Arthur glares at him, then rolls his eyes.

"Fine, can you just put her down while you finish up your chores?" 

"No!" says Merlin far too quickly, panicking. Arthur frowns at him a little.

"It would be better if I took her to Gaius."

"I thought you said he was out visiting? No, you'll only disappear for hours again. Put her on the bed, she'll be fine there."

"Okay..." says Merlin, whose almost shaking. What if she does something? How will he explain it? Will Arthur hurt her? Will he presume it's Merlin? He'll just have to pretend it's him if she does. Right now all he can do is get her back to Gaius as quickly as possible.

"I suppose she'll be okay for a little while." he says quietly almost to himself, gently rocking her. 

"I've only got to get you a change of clothes and get your washing down to the laundry."

"And clean the grate, polish my armour and bring me my lunch." says Arthur, rolling his eyes as if Merlin is trying to avoid chores out of laziness. 

"Yes, okay" says Merlin. He's chewing his lip as he walks over to Arthur's bed. He places the baby down gently in the middle of the bed, then stands back up to look at her. She's looking around, eyes wide but not quite focussing, her tiny fists still cling to Merlin's very damp scarf. She brings it to her mouth and starts sucking on it again. Merlin studies her for a moment. She looks back at him with wide blue eyes and for a moment her lips quirk like she's going to smile, but then her mouth just stays in a kind of O and lifts her hands up moving to study Merlin's scarf as if it's the most interesting thing in the world. Merlin leans down and strokes her cheek again. She glances up again and Merlin could swear he could see a smile.

"Merlin!" says Arthur insistently. 

"Fine!" says Merlin, and proceeds to dismantle Arthur's bed.

"What are you doing?" says Arthur, watching the chaos.

"I have to put the pillows round her to stop her from tossing and turning. She could roll herself off the bed."

"I think you're being a bit over the top." 

"If you don't want her around, I'll go and find Gaius." says Merlin moving to pick her up quickly. 

"No. Don't bother. She's not doing anything. If you're so bothered, I'll keep an eye on her while I deal with the letters my father sent me. I can read them on the bed. They're only about the visit of Lord Bayard's niece. Nothing particularly interesting." 

"... We don't want her disturbing you." says Merlin, still holding the baby just above the bed.

"She's just sleeping. I'll just shout at you if she needs anything." says Arthur, walking over to his desk to pick up various pieces of parchment. And now Merlin's heart is really hammering. He very gently lies her down again. He's tempted to jostle her to make her cry again. But he can't risk her doing something, if she even does have magic. Besides, she's so small and fragile he can't bring himself to do it. 

Arthur jumps on the bed, sitting against the headboard. He lightly kicks Merlin who hasn't managed to pull himself away from the baby yet.

"Come on! My armour won't polish itself!" says Arthur mockingly. 

Reluctantly Merlin tears himself away to do Arthur's chores.

...

It's hours later when Merlin finishes. He places the plate with Arthur's lunch down at the table and walks nervously over to the bed to retrieve the baby. Whilst he was there he knows nothing happened. But he's been down to the laundry and to the kitchen to get food. But Arthur hasn't moved, doesn't appear agitated. He's sitting, legs idly crossed, a letter in his hand. But he doesn't appear to be reading it. His eyes are focussed on the baby, and when Merlin get's closer he can see that the baby is sleeping. Her left hand still clutches at Merlin's scarf, but her right hand clutches at Arthur's finger and Arthur seems to be watching it in a trance. Merlin breathes a sign of relief. He feels his heart flutter as, for a moment he watches the scene. But he should get her back to Gaius. He'll know what to do. 

"I though you said we shouldn't get attached." he says jokingly. Arthur looks up at him guiltily, but doesn't pull his hand away.

"She was getting restless." Arthur's eyes are uncertain. Wary. Then he seems to shake himself and gently pulls his finger away. Merlin moves quickly to pick her up as a frown appears on her face and she twists in her sleep. 

"I should take her 

"Yes. Of course." says Arthur, picking up his letter and starting to read nonchalantly.

"Your lunch is on the table." says Merlin, as he closes the door behind him. 

\---

"So let me get this straight. You have somehow inherited a baby, who is not Arthur's, despite the rumours. Instead she is the child of a sorcerer. Or possibly it's the baby whose the sorcerer?" 

Merlin nods guiltily as the baby drinks from the little jug. 

"What makes you think she has magic?" 

"Eve said she was cursed. She looked scared, basically threw the baby back at me and left."

"And she's not a silly girl." says Gaius, frowning. Merlin shakes his head in agreement. 

"What do you plan to do?" asks Gaius.

"I need to find a new home for her." 

"You'll have to be very careful. If Uther find out..."

"I know."

"What will you do with her during the day?"

"Well I... I was hoping you could look after her."

"Merlin, I... I can do a little, but I have work to do. Beside's I wouldn't know the first thing about caring for a baby."

"But you're a physician."

"Yes, Merlin. A physician. Not a midwife." He sighs. 

"I might have a few books I can dig out... And I might know a midwife who I trust who could give us some more information. If she's still alive."

"Thank you, Gaius." says Merlin. He suddenly feels like everything is so much more fragile than he realised.

"I doubt Arthur will be impressed to see her tomorrow."

"I don't know. I think he quite like's Mattie." says Merlin, putting the jug down and stroking her check. He can't help the slight smile when he remembers her grasping Arthur's finger. But the thought of Arthur learning the truth stills his hand. 

"Mattie? Merlin, you shouldn't be naming her at all. Let alone anything as silly as Mattie."

"It's short for Mathilda." says Merlin. 

"It's short for trouble. Merlin, you know she can't stay here. You need to find her somewhere safe."

"I know." says Merlin. Mattie begins to cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I chose Mathilda after the Empress Matilda, daughter of Henry I, and Granddaughter of William the Conqueror. Although she was also called the Empress Maude and I have no intention of calling anyone Maude.


	7. Call the Midwife

"5 months I'd say" says the kindly woman who looks about 500 years old. Her name is Leandra and she's an old friend of Gaius'. She has long wispy white hair and her eyes squint as she studies the baby she has gently laid against her. Merlin things her hands look like a skeleton's, tight like talons. But then he catches Gaius' eye, who glares at him and he remembers it's rude to stare. Besides, if he lives that long, his hands might look like that too. He looks instead at the tiny, fresh faced baby trying to chew her own fist, which has Merlin's scarf wrapped around it. 

"... But she's so small" he says quietly. Leandra turns to him, eyebrow raised. It's uncannily like a female version of Gaius' signature look, although Gaius insists they're not related.

"I've been a midwife four times as long as you've lived. I think when it comes to babes in arms I'll be the authority here." Merlin, looks down, embarrassed. 

Rolling her eyes, Leandra looks back at Mattie. Then picks her up and jiggles her up and down a little. 

"Yes, about 5 months. Good weight for it. She's holding her head up fine. And tossing and turning and rolling all over the place. I bet you're keeping your daddy busy." she says, rubbing Mattie's chubby cheek. 

"I'm not her father." says Merlin firmly, but his eyes stay fixed to Mattie, who's now pulled her fist out of her mouth and seems to be studying with great concentration. Then she looks up suddenly at Leandra and her eyes grow wide. 

"Well that's not what she thinks." says Leandra without glancing up, as a pout forms on Mattie's face.

"What do you mean?" Leandra ignores him completely and continues bouncing Mattie, now on her knee, angling her so that she can see Merlin. As Mattie's eyes catch Merlin's the frown begins to ease, and her podgy, spit covered hands come out to make grabby signs at Merlin. 

"Gah!" she says emphatically and looks at Merlin expectantly for a moment, before deciding to chew her hand again. 

"Does she recognise her name yet?" asks Leandra. 

"What? No." says Merlin. It's never occurred to him that she would. 

"That's unusual." she says frowning. 

"Brbrbrbr" says Mattie, smiling as she finishes. 

"Merlin only found her 2 days ago and he's only just named her." explains Gaius. 

"She hasn't really heard her name." says Merlin. 

"Well, that may be for the best if she's going on to someone else." says Leandra. 

"About that." says Gaius, standing up a little straighter. Merlin looks up at Gaius, chewing his lip. 

"There's something... different about Mattie." says Gaius. 

"Like her father, is she?" asks Leandra looking pointedly at Merlin.

"I'm not her father." says Merlin.

"He's not." confirms Gaius. 

"He has magic." says Leandra. 

"Yes." says Giaus, as Merlin stares at her, knuckles clenched. 

"Mmmmm!" says Mattie, making grabby hands at Merlin again. 

"And so does the babe?" asks Leandra.

"Yes." says Gaius. 

"How do you know?" asks Leandra. 

"She... she used it in front of us. And she used it when she was with Eve. Because she was upset."

"Then I would advise she stays where she is." Merlin's eyes blow wide. 

"No! Arthur will never accept that! People already thinks she's his! If she stays with us, the rumours will only get worse!" says Merlin, his knee jiggling nervously.

"I don't have another suggestion. You are her father." says Leandra matter-of-factly. 

"I am not..." says Merlin, almost shouting in frustration. 

"She thinks you are! And she has magic. Powerful magic, if it's showing already. She already looks at you when she is nervous. If you hand her over to someone else she could use it again." says Leandra, her bony hand waving in the air as she talks. 

"I know." says Merlin. 

"Even if you can find someone who would accept her, whose to say they will be able to keep her magic hidden? Even with magic of their own?" continues Leandra. 

"I know." says Merlin.

"But you, YOU have magic & powerful magic at that. I remember, you were born with magic like this. You can use your magic to shield hers." says Leandra emphatically. 

"But I can't raise a baby. I don't know how. And besides, I'm Arthur's manservant. She'd be constantly in the spotlight. And I have duties, I..." babbles Merlin, 

"Have a daughter now. Get used to it." says Leandra.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leandra is named for Leandra Becerra Lumbreras, the oldest woman in the world at 127.


	8. The Ceiling

Merlin cautiously carries Mattie to Arthur's room the next morning. Merlin doesn't know exactly what he's going to do today, or tomorrow, or any other day. He spent the entire night trying to think of what he can do, and still hasn't got a clue. Arthur will be annoyed to see the child again, and it won't be long before he's asking questions about Merlin's inability to find a new home for the child. Gaius has said he will begin very subtle enquires for a family with magic, but Merlin isn't hopeful. He knows Gaius will be careful, but they need to be so careful. He doesn't want to think that Uther would execute a baby, but there's a thread of dark cynicism in his heart which absolutely believes that he would. He's more confident in Arthur, but... but... 

He pushes the door open as quietly as he can, not just for Arthur's sake. She has fallen asleep again after her breakfast, which is a little strange, but she didn't sleep much last night either so he guesses her sleeping pattern is messed up. He walks quietly across the room and draws back the curtains, one at a time as she lays her head on his shoulder and dribbles slightly. He's just thinking about what he should do next, how to wake Arthur, get breakfast...

"Please tell me that isn't what I think it is." comes Arthur's voice from the bed. He's looking up, eyebrow raised.

"I'm sorry, Gaius was too busy... besides his joints aren't what they used to be and she wriggles and..." Arthur rolls his eyes, laying back down and taking his head in his hands. 

"Fine!" he says, when clearly it's not fine. 

"I'll just go and get breakfast". he says turning away. 

"Merrrrrlinnnnnn." says Arthur in that sing song way which says Merlin has missed something obvious. 

"Yes?" he says, turning around. Arthur has turned to sit properly on the edge of the bed and now stands up. He crosses his arms.

"Exactly how do you expect to bring my breakfast up with one arm. 

"I err she's sleeping, I didn't want to..."

"Put her on the bed, like yesterday."

"I really..."

"Merlin!" says Arthur. Reluctantly Merlin walks over and lays Mattie down on the bed, then heads to the kitchen as quickly as possible. 

\---

When Merlin returns with the a tray laden with food, he finds Arthur holding Mattie tightly to him, and she's making the precrying moany sounds she does. 

"Is she okay?" asks Merlin, warily. He places the tray down slowly, watching Arthur. 

"Yeah... she,er... she was just crying... so I" says Arthur, stuttering. He seems nervous. 

"Do you want me to take her?" asks Merlin, panicking and reaching for Mattie.

"No! No, it's fine. I've got her. Merlin, there's something..." Arthur's grip on Mattie remain's iron like as Merlin gently tries to take her. Sensing the two grips, Mattie's cries become higher, louder and more piercing. 

"She probably needs her nappy changed, I'll take her." says Merlin, pulling himself closer to Mattie rather than her towards him, bringing him close to Arthur. Mattie's scream is getting to fever pitch. 

"She doesn't smell, Merlin. Merlin, I'm trying to..." 

The fire flares violently into life, the flames at first so high they're licking around the fireplace. Merlin turns in horror and fear to Arthur. His face mirror's Merlin's; wide-eyed, shocked. And all that Merlin can think is, 'what if he hurts Mattie, if he kills Mattie?. So he does the only thing he can think of in that second. He says

"It was me, I'm sorry."

"Merlin, we both saw..." says Arthur, shaking his head.

"No, it was me!" says Merlin desperately, almost shouting. 

"I know what you're trying to do!" says Arthur, one arm coming out to grab Merlin's/ 

"I'm not. Look!" and he turns, taking his hands away from Mattie, and shakes Arhtur's hand off. Then he throws a hand towards the fire, whispering something. In a second the fire has disappeared, the only evidence of it's existence the blackened marks around the fire and the charred logs. And now Merlin freezes. Because he's done it. Arthur knows his secret. He feels like he's run into a wall, like his life has stopped, time has stopped. He turns towards Arthur, breathing deeply. And now Arthur is staring at him, really staring. Not like before. There's a glint, a sharpness to it. A little like the look he gets when he goes hunting. It frightens Merlin and he feels a tiny piece of him wither. Arthur is still staring. For a moment Merlin just stays looking back at him, hands still raised. Arthur blinks slightly.

"So you have magic too." he says calmly, too calmly. His lip curls ever so slightly, sarcastically. 

"Wh... what do you mean too?" asks Merlin, barely able to breath. There's a set to Arthur's jaw that Merlin doesn't like.

"Look up." Merlin frowns, then looks. Floating lightly against the ceiling, just above the Arthur's bed, is one of Arthur's pillow. Merlin pales. 

"Her eyes lit up... just like yours did." says Arthur dully, without emotion. 

"Oh" says Merlin quietly.


	9. Chapter 9

Merlin is sat in Gaius' chambers, holding Mattie tightly. She's grizzling and rubbing her eyes tiredly, but Merlin just kisses the side of her head absent-mindedly and carries on staring forward, shaking slightly.

"Are you going to feed her? She's been grumbling for half an hour, Merlin." says Gaius with a hint of annoyance in his voice. Merlin carries on staring at the wall. He doesn't hear Gaius, doesn't know what to do. It seems like his life is crumbling around him. His whole purpose, destiny lies in tatters in front of him, all because of this little baby. He doesn't blame her, could never blame her. But it's hard not to think that his life is over. 

"Merlin? Merlin, are you listening to me?" Merlin glances up, trying not to cry as Gaius' voice finally pierces through his sombre thoughts. 

"Merlin, are you alright?" asks Gaius, more quietly. He sits beside him on the bench, and waits patiently for Merlin to talk. 

"I... I told Arthur." says Merlin quietly after a moment. It feels strange to say it. To say such a life changing, life ending thing and for the normal sounds of life to be carrying on outside. 

"Told him what?" asks Gaius, frowning. Merlin frowns a little. His magic has always been his biggest secret from Arthur, but he realises there are many others. Mattie's own magic for one. 

"'Bout my magic" says Merlin quietly, his eyebrows drawing together.

"Why?" asks Gaius, just as quietly, but with an edge of concern.

"Didn't want him to think Mattie had magic. Was trying to protect her." Gaius is silent for a while, studying him. Merlin knows Gaius has always thought he had too soft a heart. 

"That was very noble, Merlin..." he begins. 

"Didn't work. He'd already seen her." Merlin blurts out, unable to help the sob that escapes him.

"He wasn't going to hurt her. He saw her use magic... and he wasn't going to do anything to her." says Merlin, lowering his eyes. 

"Ah" says Gaius, drawing his hands together. 

"And now he hates me..." says Merlin bitterly. For a moment Gaius lets him cry, then rubs his back a little. 

"What did he say?"

"Jus' told me to leave. Said he couldn't bear to look at me." Gaius nods tiredly, sympathetically. Then looks at the baby squirming and semi-crying in Merlin's arms, and comes to a decision. 

"I think you need to do something about Mattie" he says flatly. 

"No! He said he'd never have hurt her. He knows she's just a baby and it's not her fault. That's probably what's keeping me alive. He knows she needs me, and he's too noble to let her pay for my mistakes." Merlin's really crying now, pulling Mattie a little towards himself, and crying onto her, making her cry more. 

"No, Merlin. I didn't mean... I mean she needs... Never mind. Give her to me." 

"What? Why?" Merlin glances up, a look of suspicion and fear darts across his face, and he brings his arm around her protectively. 

"Because she needs her nappy changing and feeding. And you need to go for a walk and do something repetitive to give you some time to think." says Gaius matter-of-factly. Merlin relaxes a little then looks up. 

"But..." he starts to object, but Gaius interrupts with a glare, holding out his arms to take her. 

"I may be an old man but I can handle her for a couple of hours. Besides, whether Arthur hates you or not, life goes on. And Mattie's nappies won't clean themselves."


	10. The confrontation

Arthur has spent three hours drilling the knights more cruelly than he ever has before. There have been longer training sessions to be sure, but Arthur isn't in the mood, doesn't have the patience for anything longer. And the knights aren't complaining. Well, not about the training being cut short. Gwaine spend the entirety of the warm up run around Camlelot complaining. Admittedly it was in full armour on a rather warm spring day and the knights usually only do laps of the training field. And admittedly he doesn't usually insist on them fighting with their left hand or with their left arm tied to their side. But after that Arthur starts getting funny looks. Ok, no, he was getting strange looks for the beginning, but now Leon looks on the verge of actually saying something and Arthur doesn't want to talk about it. Doesn't want to have to admit to all of his knights that he was taken in, betrayed by, so mistaken in his judgement of Merlin. Of a servant. He has been such a fool. 

So he abruptly ends the training session and heads back to his chambers. On the way he sees a familiar figure. Sullen, head bowed and miserable looking as he carries a basket of laundry across the courtyard. 

"What are you doing!" he hisses at Merlin, stalking up to him. Merlin looks up, startled and confused. For a moment he looks around, eyes wide. They're red and swollen. They almost look like Merlin's been hit except that there's no bruising. Arthur tells himself he shouldn't care, and that Merlin is a liar, deserving no sympathy. But the fact that he has to consciously think it unnerves him. 

"I just... Just Mattie's laundry, her nappies."

"Mattie? You named that thing..." Arthur trails off at Merlin's glare, but also at his own words. He's mad, but he's not mad at the baby. He doesn't blame her. She's just a babe in arms who clearly doesn't know what she's doing. 

"You shouldn't have named her." He says more calmly,

"Why not?" says Merlin, sounding hurt.

"Because she's not yours, you can't ... can we have this discussion somewhere more private?" Somewhere that I can yell at you without announcing to the entire city that you and the baby you brought home have magic. Merlin looks at him, and there's a crinkling of the forehead and a light chewing of the lip and for a moment Arthur thinks Merlin might cry, but then Merlin is looking down and not meeting his eye. 

"I... I need to get these back to Gaius' so that I can hang them out to dry. Mattie's running out." Arthur huffs, then says

"Fine. Once you've done that, bring me my lunch in my chambers. Then we'll talk."

"... Thought you didn't want to talk to me." says Merlin quietly, eyes still fixed on the white cloth in the basket. 

"I don't, particularly." says Arthur, stepping back, trying and failing to act as if it doesn't bother him whether they talk or not. 

"But you are my servant, and you will do as I say."

\---

Gaius doesn't think he's ever seen anyone hang out nappy cloth in a way that suggests the world might end before.

"At least he's talking to you. That's a positive sign." Merlin glances up at him with a look which suggests it doesn't inspire him. 

"Merlin, you're not in jail. You're not dead. Uther isn't any the wiser and Arthur wants to talk to you. I'd say it's going better than expected."

"He hates me."

"He's upset. He'll come round."

"You can't know that!" says Merlin, and carries on hanging the nappies.

\---

Merlin arrives at Arthur's chambers ten minutes later with Mattie.

"I said to bring lunch, not ..." says Arthur angrily. 

"Gaius couldn't look after her any longer, he has his rounds to do." says Merlin flatly, laying her down on the bed, without looking up at Arthur. 

"What's the matter with you?" demands Arthur, glaring.

"Nothing." says Merlin, still quietly, as he adjusts Mattie on the bed.

"You have no right to be upset, Merlin! You have lied to me for YEARS! You have lied over and over and over! You're probably still lying now. You never told me you were a filthy sorcerer! I am the one who gets to be upset, not you! I'm the one who gets to decide if I shout at you, have you put in the stocks, or have you beheaded. What reason could you possibly have for being upset!" He's right in Merlin's face, Maddie is crying, screaming. A pillow rises into the air and explodes. Merlin is looking down, not thinking Arthur requires an answer until Arthur physically brings his chin up so that Merlin is looking him dead in the eye. 

"Answer me!"

For a moment there is silent

"I have had magic all my life, and all my life I have had to hide it from EVERYONE I know. The only ones who have know are my Mother, Gaius and Will! And now my best f..." Merlin trails off and Arthur finds himself frozen, looking at Merlin, wide-eyed. Merlin drops his gaze and after a while continues, more quietly. 

"And now you hate me... for what I am. I'd always... I'd always hoped that... doesn't matter. I'll get your lunch now." And with that Merlin turns sadly and walks out of the room.


	11. Chapter 11

Arthur stands watching the door for a moment. It would have been longer, he's so shocked by Merlin's outburst, by the idea that Merlin has lied out of fear and necessity. But Mattie is screaming so loudly that she can't be ignored, besides he can see his second pillow rise into the air, and it looks like it's about to share the fate of the other. He grabs it out of the air and throws it across the room before scooping Mattie up. 

She wriggles and tries to turn away from him, her hands raised in little fists and her face bright red. 

"Hey, hey. I'm sorry, shhh. I wasn't shouting at you. It's okay. No more shouting, yeah? It's alright." He forces himself to sound calmer than he is, jiggling her up and down a little, the way he's seen Merlin do, and kissing the side of her head. She's facing away from him and a little hand comes up, seemingly to push him away, and Arthur suddenly finds that he doesn't feel angry, just upset. And he's crying and brokenly muttering into her hair, because he really didn't mean to upset her. 

In his mind he thinks this whole situation is completely ridiculous, he's ridiculous. He's the king of Camelot, and Merlin is just a servant and Mattie is just a ba... an illegitimate child they're... Merlin is looking after until they find her a home. Except that none of that is true. Merlin is a liar, a traitor and a sorcerer and Mattie has magic too. So they... Merlin can't just hand her out to anyone because if she did magic around them, they might hand her over to Uther, or be accused of magic themselves and executed. Even if it's not Mattie dead, Arthur can't sentence random strangers to death for trying to take care of her. 

He's gotten off point, his thoughts are a mess. He shouldn't care about any of this, but he does. he shouldn't care that Merlin is a sorcerer, should just hand him in and be done with it. But he can't because Merlin is Merlin. He is... was his best friend. And he put his own life at risk to save Mattie. And he says he can't help his magic, he's always had it. He'd always thought magic was something you learnt, and probably would have insisted Merlin was lying on that point if he hadn't seen Mattie. There's no doubting her magic and she has barely learnt to sit up. 

He shouldn't care so much about her fate, though. She is one of many orphans in the kingdom who need help. As his father often reminds him, you can't save them all. And he certainly shouldn't care that she is pushing him away because he scared her by shouting. He's a prince, one day he will be a king. the thought doesn't stop the tears that are streaming down his cheeks as she carries on crying. But then one little fist is uncurling and grabbing at the shirt that Arthur is wearing. She's still kind of pushing, but maybe she's just squirming because she's upset. When he lifts her higher, she lays her head on his shoulder and brings her hands to her face as she cries. Arthur breaths three big breaths of relief and wraps his arms more firmly around her, a hand gently on her head. He leans his own head towards her and after a while her sobs die down. 

\---

Arthur's eyes have dried and Mattie has fallen asleep on his shoulder when Merlin arrives with lunch. He's taken a long time and his eyes are clearly red. He doesn't look up at Arthur, now sat up against the head of the bed, as he lays the lunch out.

"Can you bring it here... please... she's sleeping. I don't want to wake her." He says quietly. Merlin glances up, picking up a plate of food and walks over, brow knit in confusion. 

"She was screaming, and you ran off." says Arthur awkwardly, by way of an explanation, then looks away.

"Thank you... there's more cheese and bread at the table, and a jug of wine. Do you want me to bring you some?"

"Just a glass of wine... please." When Merlin has got up, and walked to the table, Arthur asks.

"When does she need feeding?"

"In a couple of hours. Gaius fed her earlier." replies Merlin still quiet.

"What are we going to do?" 

"I don't know. What are you going to do?"

"What? Me?"

"If you cut my... if you have me executed... you'll have to find someone else to look after her." There's a hint of hope in that voice, even a hint of a smile.

"Then I won't execute you... for the moment." Merlin looks at him, that flicker of hope still there. Arthur glares back, because Merlin deserves it but almost immediately regrets it. Because it's like he sees the tiny flicker of hope die behind Merlin's eyes, almost like he's hit Merlin. And Merlin just sits there, staring dismally at the hem of his sleeve, biting his lip, looking so upset. Arthur's just decided to relent and tell Merlin that he actually has no intention of executing him when there is a loud knock at the door. 

"Your Highness?" comes Leon's uncertain voice from the other side.

"Yes?" says Arthur loudly, slowly moving to sit, carefully holding Mattie.

Leon enters, looking between Arthur and Merlin frowning slightly.

"Yes, Leon?" asks Arthur impatiently.

"The king asked me to remind you that you are to be present for the arrival of Lord Bayard and his Niece."

"Yes, Leon. I have remembered." replies Arthur not hiding his annoyance.

"In half an hour, Your highness?" asks Leon, a little uncertainly.


	12. Chapter 12

Arthur can't hear Mattie. And it's bugging him, and it's bugging him that it bugs him. And it's also bugging him that every now and then when he glances up Merlin and Merlin isn't looking at him. Mainly because they are in the middle of the evening welcome feast and with Lord Bayard chatting inanely, Arthur really feels like he needs his goblet topped up. But Merlin's eyes stay stubbornly down and Arthur's jug stays stubbornly sat in the palm of Merlin's hand. Arthur tries not to think about how he ended up shouting at Merlin as they tried to dress Arthur in record time and ended up putting Arthur's top on back to front. He really wants to tell Merlin he doesn't want him dead. They were friends. He wants that back, even if he is still fuming about what Merlin has done. But even if he's angry he can't stand the idea of Merlin thinking him heartless or cruel. And he wants Mattie here which is just odd. 

"What do you think, Arthur?" asks the grating, ingratiating voice next to him. 

"I... er, I couldn't say" guess Arthur, turning confidently to the large, overbearing man next to him who he really couldn't give less of a damn about.

"You wouldn't say my Niece is pretty?" demands Lord Bayard, his face turning red, then purple. Uther's piercing gaze turns on Arthur and Arthur straightens, thinking fast. He glances briefly at the lady in question. She would certainly be stunning, if it wasn't for the dagger-like look in her eyes. He imagines she'd have no compulsion about using poison to get what she wanted.

"Of course not, my Lord. One wouldn't call one such as your niece merely pretty. She is a lady." 

"Oh..." says Lord Bayard, pausing, and turning back to red, eyes still fixed on Arthur. The daggers in his niece's eyes draw back just a little.

"Pretty suggests merely pleasant to look at. But Lady's also possess grace and elegance..." says Arthur. There is an appreciative murmur around the room and Arthur receives a slap on the back hard enough to knock a few teeth out as Lord Bayard smacks him familiarly on the back.

"I knew Uther's son would inherit that same smooth Pendragon tongue." he laughs. The niece is smiling again too, but there's a sharpness to her eyes that remains. Arthur glances quickly away from her to where Merlin is still standing to the side of the table. Merlin's not smiling, but he is looking at Arthur. Arthur's not sure he can read Merlin's look, which worries him. But the niece, whose name he really needs to catch at some point, is watching, so he nods curtly towards his cup. and turns away. Merlin walks over stiffly.

Arthur's concentrating on trying not to pay attention to him when a melodic voice cuts through the murmuring in the room. 

"Oh Arthur, where is that gorgeous little ward of yours?" Arthur looks up, he can feel the colour draining from his face. His father's eyes are furiously wide, and Morgana has an impish glint in her eye.

"Ward?" asks Lord Bayard, face re-reddening.

"My father's ward is mistaken." says Arthur, gritting his teeth. He can feel how tense Merlin is as he pour's Arthur's drink.

"Oh really? Then whose the little darling I've seen your manservant carrying around?" asks Morgana loudly. The murmurs around the room are audible now and Arthur's sure he can hear his father clenching his goblet in fury.

"Just a poor orphan we're trying to re-home. She has some... medical complications that Gaius is... monitoring which is why we Merlin is looking after her for the moment." bluffs Arthur. 

"That's very noble of you" says the niece, and her face is so unreadable that Arthur's not sure if it's a rebuke or a compliment. 

"Oh, but she is a dear! Arthur do send for her!" continues Morgana, grinning devilishly. Arthur can see the glint of enjoyment in her eye at his squirming. But what if it’s more than just revelling in Arthur’s discomfort? 

"I’m afraid she is still very young and it is rather past her bed time.” says Arthur, glancing momentarily at Merlin. Merlin nods along, but he looks suspicious. Arthur wonders how he kept his own secret for so long when he looks so guilty for putting a babe to bed. Morgana looks at him oddly, then cedes his point.

“I guess. She is such a darling, Hedewiga, we’ll have to introduce her tomorrow.”

Hedewiga? What kind of name is Hedewiga? Arthur only realises that he’s been staring at the niece, Hedewiga, when she glares openly back at him. He looks around awkwardly, then decides to recover himself by saying.

“Of course, if it’s what the Lady Hedewiga desires?” and nods to her as if that had always been his intent.  
“Of course Hedy would love to the see the babe! She loves all children! She plans to have a large brood of her own one day!” announces her vociferous uncle, clapping Arthur on the back. Hedewiga’s glare has receded again, but Arthur is no more convinced of her maternal side than he was before. He sits back in his chair, breathing a sigh of relief.   
As the chatter in the feast builds back up again, he glances at Merlin, who is actually looking at him. And it’s like they’re speaking even though they’re just looking at each other. Merlin’s eyes are panicked ‘what have you done?’, Arthur is defensive, ‘what do you mean?’ Merlin glances pointedly at Hedewiga and her uncle. ‘Now Mattie has to meet them.’ Arthur shrugs ‘so?’ Merlin widens his eyes dramatically then glares pointedly at Uther. For a moment Arthur loses the thread of their silent conversation as he looks at his father confused, and then the penny drops. So does Arthur’s face. He turns back to Merlin, who raises his eyebrows. ‘You see the problem?’ Arthur nods.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for slow updates, life is pretty hectic at the moment and I'm struggling to find time to fit writing in. But I do love writing these so if you love reading them feel free to send me a reminder to pull a finger out and update. Also as always all comments welcome. Guess the upcoming plot, what you like/ don't like. If you think someone is ooc, or cliched, predictable, boring, annoying, mary sue etc. I love all and every comments, even if you're telling me off about my grammar!


	13. Chapter 13

"...So now because of ARHTUR we have to introduce Mattie to Hedricka the evil..."   
"Hedewiga, Merlin" says Arthur grumpily, interrupting Merlin mid rant as he sits on a chair in Gaius' chambers, his chin on his hand, kicking the table leg in agitation. Gaius is glaring at him for it from where he stands near the fire, but Arthur ignores him.   
"Whatever! And probably present her to most of the court too! The King has got it into his head that seeing as Hedika..." rants Merlin, jiggling Mattie in his arms a bit more vigorously than a burping really requires   
"Hedewiga, seriously Merlin!" interrupts Arthur again.   
"... is SO fond of children, Mattie is is now a star attraction! I don't understand why your father is so keen on Lord Bayard or his niece anyway!!" continues Merlin, undeterred.   
"Because they've been friends since my father's youth, and because Lord Bayard is very wealthy. So she, Hedewiga will come with a large dowry."   
"Yes, but she's not exactly a Princess! I thought your father was holding out on a more... "   
"My father's aims are not for you to understand!" snaps Arthur, but immediately regrets it in the way Merlin turns away. For a moment they are all silent, Gaius looking awkwardly between them. For a moment Arthur breathes and calms himself.   
"My father's is worried about the future. Whilst an alliance with a neighbouring kingdom would be advantageous, the fact is that we are already on very amicable terms with those who have princesses of a marriageable age! Three of those have already been married, leaving only two. And they are from two rival kingdoms..."   
"Fine! Whatever! The fact remains that your father, YOUR FATHER! is now enthusiastic in meeting a child who throws magical tantrums when she's feeling sleepy!”.   
“Don’t you think I know that!” says Arthur angrily.   
Then Mattie starts crying.   
“Now see what you’ve done!” shouts Merlin pouting.   
“Me! You’re the one who’s been ranting since you stepped...”   
“If I might say so” says Gaius interrupting sternly “neither of you are coming up with any helpful suggestions. So Merlin, I suggest you put Mattie to bed. Then both of you can sit down and calmly think of a solution.”   
\---   
It is a while later, and Merlin and Arthur are sat next to each other on the bench. Gaius has warned them to keep their voices down and headed to bed. So they are chatting seriously, but now at least quietly.  
“We could take another child in” says Merlin, glancing up hopefully.   
“No, Morgana would notice. She’s been hanging around” says Arthur darkly. 

“We could say she’s unwell. Surely if we said she had croup or something...” says Merlin, face lighting up. 

Arthur sits for a moment and thinks. It is a good idea. There must be a flaw. 

“My Father will be disappointed, but he can’t blame me for a baby getting sick.” He concludes. 

“Happens all the time!” smiles Merlin.

“And Gauis can look after her and he’ll back us up to your father!” 

Arthur can’t help himself from smiling. 

“Why did it take us this long to think of?” asks Merlin, relieved smile firmly in place.

“Because you were too busy bitching and moaning...” says Arthur rolling his eyes. Merlin pushes him jokingly on the shoulder. 

“I just didn’t want to have to repeat...” Merlin’s face falls a little, and he looks away.

“Merlin?” says Arthur, frowning a little, then his eyes grow wide in realisation.

“If I have to I will!” says Merlin looking up, but only glancing at Arthur. 

“Well, you don’t need to, so don’t think about it!” says Arthur, turning Merlin’s cheek to look him right in the eye. 

“Would it be that terrible?” asks Merlin quietly and there’s a sadness that Arthur can’t stand.

“Yes!” says Arthur, surprising himself when the whisper comes out so forcefully, but he can’t deny that the idea of his father knowing Merlin’s secret, of Merlin being executed, is sending shivers down his spine and down the back of his neck. He takes a deep breath to calm himself, but it’s only after a moment that he realises that his hand is still on Merlin’s cheek, and in the last few seconds he’s been absentmindedly stroking Merlin’s cheek. He pulls it away as if he’s been burned, and gets up, rubbing the back of his neck and not looking at Merlin. After a moment he says. 

“It would be bloody awful... you’re my best friend... I couldn’t bare it.” He turns back to Merlin, whose looking at him, wide eyed. His cheeks are a little flushed. But then he’s getting up and throwing his arms around Arthur. Not in a damsel in distress kind of way, nor in a blokey slap on the shoulder kind of way. He just wraps his arms around Arthur’s waist, rests his head against the side of Arthur’s for a moment, then whispers “thank you” and pulls away. 

The next minute he’s up the stairs to his own room and closing the door. Arthur is left standing in Gaius’ chambers feeling odd. 

\---

The next morning at breakfast, a formal breakfast, Arthur announces to his father , Lord Bayard, Hedewiga and the Lady Morgana that unfortunately his poor ward has caught a nasty bug and must remain in the care of the court physician for a few days. Morgana’s look suggests that she doesn’t believe him, but she holds her tongue. Lord Bayard says how very sad it is and how every disappointed the apparently incredibly maternal Hedewiga is at the loss of such an opportunity. Hedewiga herself reacts only with unreadable facial expressions, which show that she has indeed received the information, but give no indication to how she feels about it. Arthur doesn’t like it. 

Instead Arthur suggests a short ride for himself and the young lady out into the country a little and back to see the sights. Merlin will accompany them of course, for propriety’s sake. Arthur glances across to Merlin, whose face is also a little unreadable today. Embarrassed? Anxious? Wanting to be back with Mattie? Maybe she hadn’t slept well? Arthur’s thoughts divert him so much he almost misses Hedewiga accepting the invitation. 

The ride itself was quiet. Arthur pointed things out and described them and Hedewiga smiled her not quite smile and was friendly and chatting a lot of the time. But somehow chatting to her was unnerving. Hedewiga had the look of someone who wasn’t necessarily thinking what they were saying. Arthur got the feeling talking to her was like playing a card game. When she chatted it was because it was what she wanted you to know. When you spoke she was listening to every word you said and probably a lot more too, and judging it. Not morally though, but for what it was worth to her, how she could use it. 

By the time they returned just before lunch, Arthur felt like he’d been on the rack for days . His father and Lord Bayard came out to meet them. As he dismounts he turns to Merlin, who offers him a sympathetic look. But then as Arthur watches his face falls as his eyes light on something. Arthur turns to see Morgana walking towards the group, carrying Mattie.


	14. Chapter 14

"Arthur! Your ward seems to have recovered." says Hedewiga, with an edge in her voice, and sharpness in her eyes. Arthur grits his teeth and desperately tries to think. 

"Oh, bless her, no! Very bad wind, Gaius said! Screaming till her face was red, bless her, and made herself sick. No wonder these two panicked, doting as they are!" says Morgana, her voice all sweetness and her eyes dancing in enjoyment. Arthur takes a breath he didn't know he was holding, and wonders why Morgana hasn't said anything. Maybe she knows. Maybe she's saving his humiliation not for lying about an illness but for the revelation of Mattie's magic. That's why her enjoyment is written so plainly on her face. 

"May I hold her?" asks Hedewiga. Arthur turns to look at her, trying so hard to hide the look of horror he can feel behind his face. He is also resisting the urge to turn to Merlin. He knows how Merlin must be feeling. 

"Of course. She's a little darling, here!" and then Morgana is walking over to Hedewiga and placing a slightly frowning Mattie into Hedewiga's stiff arms. For a moment she holds Mattie rigidly. Mattie looks up at her, eyes wide with a sort of shocked horror. Arthur would like to think it's an early sign of Mattie's excellent judge of character, but it's really the universal face of baby placed into the arms of someone they are suspicious of, but aren't sure whether to scream yet. Hedewiga looks down her nose at the baby, still holding her awkwardly, then turns to her uncle, smiling an equally awkward smile. He seems impressed enough, 

"Natural mother, my dear niece." he says, chest puffed out. Uther doesn't look convinced but is trying very hard not to show it as courtesy to his friend. 

Mattie's lip is beginning to wobble, so Arthur steps forward.

"Perhaps you'd like me to take her." says Arthur, reaching out to take her. 

"No! I mean, no, I'm perfectly fine, thank you." She's clearly not, and Mattie is twisting to try and turn around to see Arthur of Merlin. But Arthur can't demand her and Hedewiga is determined to prove a point. Arthur's not sure what that is, except that she's terrible with children. 

"It's okay, Mattie, I'm over here." says Arthur, and he risks a glance at Merlin, who is gripping his reins with white knuckles. There's a tightness to his jaw too, which makes the hair on the back of Arthur's neck stand on end. He attempts a glare, before he turns back, with a smile carefully in place. 

And now Mattie is properly crying, eyes screwed shut, fists balled. Arthur hears Merlin's horse shift impatiently. Arthur's eyes fall on a cart of hay which has pulled up outside of the stables. Arthur wouldn't usually pay it any attention, except that it is currently floating a good foot off of the ground, making the horse in front very edgy. Arthur quickly turns his eyes back to his father and lord Bayard, his blood pumping as Mattie screams and the cart floats. 

"Merlin, perhaps you'd like to put the horses away." Arthur says trying not to show his absolute dread, but he's sure by the way that Merlin doesn't move that he's not paying attention. He looks around with a hunted look, just in time to see Morgana frowning and turning around curiously. 

"Morgana, perhaps you'd like to hold Mattie!" says Arthur, panicking. 

There's a crash and the whole group turn to see the cart on it's wheel's again, the horses rearing fearfully. 

"You! Keep your animal under control!" yells Uther at the unsuspecting cart owner who has come running out of the stable at the sound. 

"And Arthur, I think it would be best if your manservant return your... ward to Gaius. Clearly she is unwell." says Uther, broking no argument. Merlin is off of his horse in a moment and taking the now shrieking Mattie from Hedewiga's arms, his face pale. In a moment he has disappeared inside the castle. Morgana seems to be frowning a little, but Lord Bayard doesn't seem to have noticed. Hedewiga is, as usual, unreadable, but she doesn't seem to be paying much attention to the cart, more to brushing out any creases Mattie has put in her dress. 

"Well, Lunch?" asks Arthur, heart still hammering. 

\---

As soon as he can reasonably escape, Arthur marches up to Gaius' chambers.

"You did magic, didn't you! Right in front of my father, to his face! Do you know how close you came to being executed today!"

"Arthur, please! I've just got her down!" says Merlin, looking annoyed. Arthur's about to continue his rant when a quiet voice cuts in from the open door behind him.

"Merlin has magic?" Arthur turns around to see Morgana standing in the door, eyes fixed on Merlin.


	15. Chapter 15

"Morgana...you can't say anything!" says Arthur, heart hammering. Morgana's eyes haven't left Merlin. They are wide and dangerous.

"You have magic..."

"Yes, Morgana we've established that! You can't say anything, Morgana!" says Arthur, thinking about how weak his argument really is and wondering if he can get between Morgana and the door.

"Was it you... the wagon?" asks Morgana, eyes still fixed on Merlin.

"No, Morgana, it was Mattie. The baby. Please Morgana, think about this, she's only a baby!" says Arthur, stepping back as she steps forward, trying to keep between her and Merlin. Morgana pauses, glancing at the now crying Mattie, who Merlin manoeuvres to hold up higher, almost like a shield in front of him. 

"Thank you." says Merlin, his voice small and scared, looking at Morgana.

"Why do you think I'll protect you?" snaps Morgana bitterly. 

"I meant... for the wagon." says Merlin, quietly. 

"Yes! Yes, thank you for not saying anything!" says Arthur, grabbing at straws, but feeling confused.

"He means for putting down!" says Morgana, turning a withering glare on Arthur, before turning it back on Merlin.

"Putting it down? What? How could you have... It's was you?.. you have?... And You knew!" says Arthur finally turning on Merlin. 

"Yes, he knew. When I was scared of what I was, when I was alone and haunted by dreams! when all I needed was for someone, one person to understand, he knew and he didn't say a word!" shouts Morgana. 

"Please, you're scaring her!" says Merlin, in voice which strongly suggests the fear is not all Mattie's, although Mattie's is the most vocal. The bench by the work table is beginning to rise off of the ground. Noticing it Morgana raises her hand and Arthur watches as her eyes glow the same gold as Merlin's and Mattie's. Then the bench is slamming down and she's turning around towards the door. He barely has time to panic that she might be walking out when she waves her hand violently and the door is slamming shut so loudly he's sure have of Camelot heard it. 

For a moment there is only silence, except that Mattie is still crying. 

"What are you going to do?" Arthur asks Morgana. For a moment, glaring at Merlin, she thinks. 

"I won't say anything, if that's what you mean."

"Thank you." says Merlin again.

"It's not for you! Don't think I'd do anything for you! As much as I hate to say it, Arthur's right. She's just a baby. If Uther knew the truth..."

"He'd kill her." says Merlin, his voice a little louder, his face ashen. The edge in Morgana's eyes seem to soften a little.

"For her, I will keep my peace... If I can look after her sometimes." Says Morgana firmly. Mattie's crying is dying down. 

"What? Why?" asks Arthur, frowning at Morgana. 

"Because I meant it when I said she was adorable. Besides, you're going need my help."

"Need your help with what?" says Arthur, raising an eyebrow. 

"I'm afraid I was having some fun with you... and with Hedewiga. With you it was too tempting watching you squirm so much. You're so emotionally stunted..." Merlin's grinning a little, behind Mattie who is finally dropping off again.

"... you couldn't help going all soft with her, so I just had show that off to the whole court!" 

"Embarass me, that's what you mean!" says Arthur,

"Just a little. But Hedewiga, oh she was far more fun! She goes rigid as a post! I've never seen anyone so bad with children, and I grew up with Uther!"

"You don't like her because she's bad with children..." says Arthur, eyebrow raised. 

"No, Arthur. I don't like her AND she's not good with children. I was trying to show her up, make her uncomfortable... I assumed she was here for the money and power anyway, so I thought she was fair game. I just didn't realise..."

"That you were placing a baby who levitates things when she cries into the hands of a woman who is terrible with children in front of a king who kills people for having magic." says Arthur concluding. 

"... I didn't know that! And now Hedewiga feels the needs to prove she could be a good mother in an attempt to secure her engagement to you." 

"Ah" says Merlin, breaking his silence. 

"Yes, ah." says Arthur rubbing his forehead as he feels the beginnings of a headache. 

"It's not just that. There's something else I can't put my finger on..." 

"Of course there is, Morgana." says Arthur, unconvinced.

"I mean it, Arthur! Now, as angry as I am, and don't think you're forgiven, Merlin, I am willing to help. And I've just heard Uther's plans, so believe me, you're going to need it!"


	16. Chapter 16

The four of them are sat by the fire as the night has drawn in. Gaius has brewed something warm for them to drink, and between sniffling crying fits Mattie is finally drifting off to sleep.

"You're father doesn't like Mattie. Well no, he doesn't like how attached you are to her. He's decided that despite your announcements upon her arrival, that she is your bastard daughter. As such he sees her as a threat..." says Morgana resignedly. 

"A threat? You don't mean..." Arthur's eyes turn hard and his hand almost goes for a sword, which isn't there. Merlin watches the movement and feels his heart beat a little faster. 

"No, don't be stupid, he doesn't suspect her magic. I mean that a bastard daughter being bought up so obviously at court might harm your chances of an advantageous match. Might already be harming them. Hedewiga is only putting up with her because I've ruffled her feathers about being un-motherly, and she's trying to prove she isn't..." Morgana looks a little proud of this unintentional benefit, then continues. 

"He also thinks if she's raised in the knowledge of her parentage she might cause problems, destabilise the succession kind of thing. She might claim the throne for herself, pit herself against your legitimate children. Which is why he aims to dispose of her and have you marry as soon as possible."

"Dispose of her? You think he'd kill her for that?" asks Merlin, hugging the now almost sleeping Mattie tighter to him. Mattie's eyes flutter open sleepily for a moment and then close again, and she turns her head a little into Merlin. 

"No, Merlin. She means he'll find some respectable family to raise her as their own..." says Arthur glumly. 

"My father may not like the idea of a bastard, but he's a family man. If he thinks she's a Pendragon, he'll make sure she's raised well. Just far away from me." 

"But that doesn't help us. If he gives her to some lord and she starts levitating things..." says Merlin, still panicky from the days events. 

"Then being a Pendragon bastard might work in her favour. Might be the thing to keep her from..." starts Arthur. 

"Might. You know what Uther's like, Arthur." says Morgana scowling.

"Which is where I come in. My being attached to her doesn't threaten the 'Pendragon lineage' and I have magic. But it doesn't stop there. Your father is so concerned he's decided he needs to act quickly. He's going to order you to propose to Hedewiga, and if you refuse he'll announce your engagement to the court tomorrow night anyway." 

Arthur feels the colour drain from his face. 

"What are you going to do?" asks Merlin. Arthur turns to look at him. His face also looks pale, his eyes blinking a little, and Arthur feels his heart skip a beat. But he doesn't have time to think about it too deeply. He's not sure how he feels about Merlin, but he's pretty sure how he feels about Mattie and absolutely sure how he feels about Hedewiga.

"I don't know. Maybe I could convince him that I could make a more advantageous match? Maybe Morgana looking after Mattie more..." Arthur feels a lump in his throat and forces his eyes away from the peaceful figure leant against Merlin, chubby little arms hanging within reach. He can't help himself reaching up to put his finger into her tiny grip. Then he reddens and withdraws it, because Morgana is watching with a smirk on her face. 

"And I avoid her for a while, then he'll be reassured that I'm not going to bring down the kingdom with a baby girl." 

"I'll come, if you like, Arthur." says Morgana. Arthur looks at her questioningly.

"I'm not afraid of your father, or telling him exactly what I think." 

"... Morgana" warns Arthur.

"Besides, I'm a ward. I can prove she doesn't need to be a threat." 

Arthur nods reluctantly. 

"... Maybe, maybe if we can make him make ME 'admit' that Mattie is mine, then we can convince him to forget the engagement idea on the condition of my being less 'involved'."

Merlin is quiet, looking into the empty space in front of him. Morgana turns to look at him, her eyes still narrowed a little, but then soften as they light on the sleeping Mattie.

"I should go. It's late, and we'll need to go and see your father early if we aim to head him off." says Morgana, standing up. She presses her hand gently to Mattie's sleeping head, then nods curtly at Merlin, and the bids Arthur goodnight. Arthur gets up to go too, and Merlin stands up, walking slowly towards the door. When Morgana has left, Merlin turns to Arthur.

"Arthur... say that Mattie is mine. You didn't want to save her, you don't need to risk your reputation... your relationship with your father...a marriage to Hedewiga..." his eyes are wide and his breathing quick. 

"Merlin, Mattie being the bastard daughter of my manservant will do her no favours. You must see that? If she's mine, she demands my father's loyalty as his grand-daughter. It's not much, but it might be enough...If she's yours, all it does is sign both of your death warrants if she's discovered and I won't let that happen." Arthur gently brushes Mattie's hair as he talks. 

"Thank you." says Merlin.

"Goodnight Arthur."

"Goodnight, Merlin."

For a moment Arthur looks at Merlin, whose eyes are so wide and intent they seem to root him to the spot. Then, heart still pounding, he gently presses a kiss to the side of Mattie's head. When he steps away into the corridor, he turns to glance back at Merlin. Merlin is still looking at him wide-eyed. Then, still watching him, Merlin kisses the side of Mattie's head too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is turning into a proper monster and I'm not sure when it's going to finish.... whoops! Virtual cookies to anyone whose stuck with this since the beginning and obviously to anyone who leaves me lovely monster comments which make my day!!


	17. Chapter 17

Arthur doesn't sleep well that night. Most of the time he is running through what he's going to say to his father; what he was going to say, what his father might say to him, how his father would act. But when he's run through that so many times his head hurts, he thinks about Merlin and Mattie. About the way Merlin looked at him as he kissed Mattie's head, as if he was kissing Arthur. Almost. Kind of. And Arthur has to admit that maybe that's what he was thinking when he kissed Mattie, as she lay sleeping on Merlin's shoulder. So close. Just maybe. He was tired. He was probably just reading into Merlin's actions, into his own actions. Merlin was always kissing the top of Mattie's head. It was just coincidence that Merlin was looking at him when he kissed her. But Arthur's heart kept skipping at the thought of the look, and he couldn't help maybe hoping just a little that it had meant more. Even if it made things even more complicated than they already were.   
Eventually he drifted off into a restless sleep.   
\---  
One of the things that Arthur had worried about was finding an excuse to see his father early in the morning. But he needn't have worried. He is woken abruptly by a Merlin shoving him unceremoniously. He opens his mouth to protest his rough treatment, but a bread roll is stuffed into his mouth. He turns blinking and confused eyes on a Merlin who is rushing around pulling clothes from cupboards.

"George grabbed me on the way in. The king demands your presence before breakfast." he says, throwing a red shirt at Arthur. Arthur pulls the bread roll from his mouth.

"What's this then?" he asks confused and groggy.

"The official breakfast you'll have with the King, Lord Bayard, Hedewiga and Morgana in two hours! I didn't think you'd want to talk to your father on an empty stomach." says Merlin obviously, throwing a pair of trousers at him. 

"Oh. Thank you." 

\---

In his throne room Uther looks serious and determined. Arthur walks in sheepishly.

"You asked to see me, Father?" asks Arthur.

"Yes, I did. Come in, Arthur." says Uther, holding his gaze. Arthur steps forward. After he's been standing there a moment in awkward silence under his father's scrutiny, Uther speaks.

"I've had enough of this charade, Arthur. When you first brought the child to Camelot you assured me, you told me to my face that she wasn't yours... And yet your behaviour suggests otherwise. I will only ask you once more, Arthur. Is she your bastard? Did you lie to me?" Uther is angry, that much is clear. The quiet, brutal tone cuts Arthur and he desparately wants to defend himself. He hates disappointing his father. But now he sees how dangerous his father could be. So he hangs his head in mock shame, the angry red of his cheeks passing as embarrassment.

"Yes, father. She is my daughter." he's surprised at how it doesn't feel like a lie. Out of the corner of his eye he sees Uther hang his head. 

"So you lied to me. To my face." he says sharply. Arthur's hurt by this, but he'd thought of it, he has answer.

"You asked me in front of everyone whether she was my bastard. In front of the entire court! What did you want me to say? Yes, I have a bastard, would everyone like a cuddle?"

"Don't take that tone with me, Arthur!" shouts Uther, standing up. Arthur's suddenly clutching at straws. His father's wrath has always triggered a panic in him and now he's not sure what to do. 

"What's going on?" asks Morgana innocently looking between them. 

"This is none of your concern. It's between myself and Arthur." says Uther, barely glancing at her.

"If it's about the babe, I'm sorry. I know I keep bringing her to court, but she's such a dear."

"Morgana..." says Uther warningly. For a moment she looks between Arthur and Uther. 

"oh... Oh! She isn't! Arthur!" she's wearing her scandalised but enjoying it look and Arthur is shocked by her acting skills.

"She IS yours!" 

"How did you know?" asks Arthur, trying to look guilty.

" Oh Arthur. Come on! The looks, Merlin nannying her. The eyes!" she says almost gleefully. Arthur has to admit that's a master stroke. She has blue eyes and so does he, they're not his, but they're close enough. 

"The hair." says Uther darkly. And that's even better, Uther's convincing himself. 

"As I was saying, Arthur." says Uther, shaking himself. 

"Flaunting your bastard to the court is already harming potential matches...”

"We'll be less conspicuous, father." says Arthur.

"Yes, you will, because I'm taking her from your charge. She will be raised as a daughter of Lord Nash, he has four sons and his wife will appreciate a daughter."

"No!" says Arthur, shocked by how venomous his voice sounds.

"You will not defy me, Arthur!" says Uther dangerously.

"Yes, I will! She is MY daughter, not yours!"

"I am the king, Arthur! And I at least am trying to undo the damage which you have done in bringing her here! Not only this, you will announce your engagement to the Lady Hedewiga tonight at dinner."

"I will not!" says Arthur, and this time it is his voice that is low and dangerous.

"If you do not, I will!" says Uther, stepping forward, eyes blazing, his hands hanging in fists by his side.

"And if you do, I will announce to the entire court that Mattie is MY daughter!" says Arthur, stepping forward himself.

"You are walking on thin ice, Arthur."

"Might I make a suggestion?" asks Morgana stepping forward, almost coming between them. 

"If it will make my son see sense!" spits Uther.

"A compromise. Of sorts!" shes adds quickly.

"Arthur doesn't want the babe raised far away. But she cannot stay where she is. So how about I adopt her as MY ward?" 

"What?!" shouts Arthur and Uther at the same time.

"It makes sense. If she's My ward, Arthur will still see her, but not enough to cause suspicion. And besides, everyone's seen my showing her off, it won't surprise anyone I'd chose to adopt her." 

"Don't be ridiculous, Morgana. Think of your own marriage prospects!" 

"I think they can afford a little bit of a knock." says Morgana

"Besides, it's still better than damaging Arthur's reputation, and I don't think he's going to back down on this." she reasons calmly. Arthur's glaring at her, livid. But she's right, it's better than some random Lord who could discover Mattie's magic. For a moment Uther thinks in silence, occasionally glaring daggers at Arthur. Then his shoulders sag a little. 

"Fine. The child can be Morgana's ward, and she will take on full care of it. If you want to see the child, you will make it infrequent and subtle! And no more of your manservant carrying her around! He looks ridiculous." Arthur feels his stomach drop for Merlin. 

"What about Hedewiga?" he asks, trying not to think about how he will have to break Merlin's heart.

"The Lady Hedewiga, Arthur." reminds Uther.

"They are here for another two weeks, and I am still discussing the terms of a marriage agreement with her Uncle." Arthur is just about to start shouting again when his father puts his hand up to silence him.

"If, IF you can prove in those two weeks that the child is not going to further hinder your making a good match, and that you are serious in finding a future queen, then I will turn Lord Bayard down, inform him that you are ill matched, and will seek a more auspicious match for you. If not, then I will announce your engagement and you can shout about your bastard until the entire kingdom knows. Have I made myself clear."

"Yes, sire." says Arthur as calmly as he can manage

"Good. You are dismissed. Both of you." 

\---

As Arthur approaches Gaius' chambers he feels like someone's tied a weight around his heart. He knows what he must say to Merlin, but he can't. He knows how much Merlin loves Mattie, and he knows he won't give her up without a fight. And he'll think Arthur did, he'll think Arthur gave her away just like that. But he wants, needs Merlin to know that's not the case. She'll be close, a lot closer than she would have been. And safe, at least safer than Lord Nash. Morgana has magic, that's a little protection... But even as he approaches Arthur knows that he doesn't believe his own reasoning.

When he enters he finds Mattie sat on Merlin's lap, clapping her chubby hands together and smiling at Gaius across the room. Then she raises them up making grabby movements and she laughs when he copies. Sadly Arthur walks over to her, then for a moment just stands in front of Merlin.

"Arthur, what is it?" He can't answer. He kneels down, wraps his arms around Mattie, burying his face on Merlin's lap, against her front. He can feel her hands grabbing at him and she lays her head on his, then tries to eat his hair. He can feel Merlin's hands around her waist, holding her so she's sitting up.

"Arthur?"

"We need to run away, it's the only answer." he says sadly, without looking up.


	18. Chapter 18

"So I'm guessing that it didn't go well. " says Merlin, slightly mockingly.

"Well, no. He went for her being my daughter wholeheartedly. Even mentioned how she looks like me." says Arthur, looking up.

"Well that's good!" says Merlin,

"Yes it is, but he's ordering her removal." He sees the way Merlin tenses, the whole set of his face.

"He was going to send her to Lord Nash..." This time the colour drains from Merlin's face.

"Lord Nash... he's the one with the worrying enthusiasm for..." He blinks a little as he talks, but Arthur cuts him off.

"Yes, the one who goes to every execution of a sorcerer and cheers very loudly. Don't worry, she's not going to him." He hears Merlin release an audible breath and looks up to see him closing his eyes in relief.

"She'll be Morgana's ward." He watches Merlin carefully. There's a slight tensing this time, but Merlin's glancing at him and nodding. It's awkward, Morgana isn't in the best mood with Merlin, but she has magic and she's shown herself besotted with Mattie. But he can see the white of Merlin's knuckles around Mattie's waist, although he isn't hurting her as she's calm, still grabbing out for his hair.

"Merlin, I'm sorry, but my father has banned you from seeing her. Well, not banned, but you can't be seen with her. Neither can I." says Arthur quietly. For a moment Merlin looks downward, seemingly resigned, if his chin wrinkles a little. But then he looks up at Arthur and his eyes flash a little. Not with magic, but with a flare of rebellion.

"When do we leave?" It's only half serious, mostly bitter.

"Do you mean it?" asks Arthur, and his heart is racing, because he does, he wants this. He wants to run away. Just him and Merlin and Mattie somewhere away from all of this politics and dangers.

"If you're serious, we'll do it, we'll go!" he says, and he realises that it must look ridiculous, kneeling by Merlin's feet, one arm on Mattie's arm and back, another on Merlin's thigh next to her. But he doesn't care, because he's never wanted anything so badly.

"You mean it?" asks Merlin quietly, eyes wide in surprise.

"Yes! We'll run away, as soon as my father's guard is down. We'll head out of the kingdom. Settle down as farmers somewhere! The three of us!"

"I can't be your servant if we're farmers." says Merlin eyes darting away from Arthur.

"We'll work it out, Merlin. We'll think of something!" Merlin mouth quirks into a kind of smile that Arthur can't understand, but Arthur's mind is filling with all of the possibilities of the freedom he could have to think too deeply about it.

"We'll escape after the feast on Saturday when everyone is a little groggy... no, he'll think of that. I'll declare I'm heading for a hunt with some of the knights. Leon and Percival can be trusted. You'll meet me in the forest. Leon and Percival can return with tales of some ambush and send them off the trail. You can use your magic and we can be in Ealdor before my father's even sent out a search party!" Merlin's watching him wide-eyed again. He's thinking about it, seriously thinking about it.

"If I might be the dreadful voice of reason here." says Gaius. His voice shatters something like a hammer hitting the warning bell, and Arthur almost jumps away from Merlin. He can feel his cheeks burning, as he kneels back, away from Mattie and Merlin a little.

"Uther is not one to give up searching for his sole heir after one unsuccessful search party. And as for a story about bandits... as soon as it's discovered that Merlin is missing with the babe too, well that story won't stick. Then Leon and Percival will end up paying who knows what price for knowingly aiding you, and you know your father, Arthur. You know that there isn't much he wouldn't do to them to try to discover where you'd gone. And his search will be relentless. You will be forever looking over your shoulders. Besides, Mattie isn't even a year old, you'll be travelling by horse for a good couple of weeks, if not more before you'll be safely out of Uther's grasp. At the least she won't enjoy it, at the most she could get sick or injured. You must see that this must only be a last resort."

Arthur hangs his head. Of course he know all of this is true, and he can feel the dream of a simpler life with Merlin and Mattie slipping from his grasp.

"He's right," says Merlin sadly.

"I know." says Arthur. 

"But that doesn't mean I'm any happier about it... and I'm not ruling it out completely." he adds, refusing to let go of life he imagined completely. Gaius raises an eyebrow, and turns to walk away.

"So what do we do?" asks Merlin, pulling Mattie back towards him, and resting his chin on the top of her head. 

"We'll just have to make sure we're really subtle. My father didn't ban us completely. He just said you can't be seen walking around with her." reasons Arthur. 

"Morgana will probably have Gwen looking after her, so she'll have to tell her about Mattie and her magic if she hasn't already. And I'm sure Gwen would help me see Mattie more if she could." says Merlin smiling just a little. It's a comforting thought, a little hope. 

"That's true, but can we trust Gwen? You know with the magic?" asks Arthur, frowning a little. 

"Not to say anything? Of course. She can't do anything if Mattie decides to levitate something though." says Merlin seriously.

"True, so you will have to keep an eye on her... from a distance." says Arthur, reaching up to brush her hair a little. Merlin kisses her head again, and Arthur tries not to think about that. So he ruffles her hair a little then forces himself to get up and leave. 

\---

 

Things start well, well in a way. Morgana arrives ah hour later with Gwen in tow to collect Mattie and Arthur makes sure he's not there, because that would look suspicious. Merlin is reluctant to hand her over, but forces himself to. They stay a while until Mattie is settled and used to Morgana and Gwen, and until they're clear on what they need to do for her. 

Then life returns to how it was before Mattie arrived. Except it doesn't because even though it's only a few hours later, Arthur misses Mattie. And Merlin's walking around like someone... like someone took his daughter from him. Arthur catches him wiping tear away as he's folding his clothes to put away. He's on the verge of saying something like Merlin's a big girl, or how silly it is to cry. Except it isn't because he feels like crying himself and he misses her like mad. It's stupid, it hasn't been that long since she arrived, and he hadn't exactly been ecstatic with her arrival. And she hasn't been missing long either, and she's only in Morgana's chambers. But he's still not allowed to just walk in there and see her. And Merlin can't just make up an excuse and get her. So although she's so close, it feels like miles.

So he doesn't laugh or joke, just walks over and silently rubs Merlin's shoulder. Merlin jumps a little and looks round and him. But Arthur's face is serious, so Merlin smiles a sad smile which says thank you for not mocking me over this. And Arthur nods and turns to carry on changing. 

But then evening comes. Arthur is sat at the meal with Lord Bayard , his father, Hedewiga and Morgana, who is cooing over how she's become Mattie's new guardian. Arthur knows he's glaring daggers, but thinks he's doing a pretty good job of disguising his upset. 

"So, why is Mattie now the Lady Morgana's ward?" asks Hedewiga innocently, quietly turning to Arthur. Arthur tries not to jump at the sound of her voice.

"My father decided that Morgana had more time and energy to devote to her than I did with my duties as Crown Prince. Besides, you've seen how besotted she is."he says trying to sound casual, which is difficult when talking to a woman whose face shows no expression. 

"As are you." says Hedewiga. Arthur can't help the way his skin creeps when she says it. It almost sounds like a threat.

"It's difficult not to get attached to them at that age." says Arthur, picking up his cup and pretending to study the contents. 

"But it's not about me, it's about what's best for her and the kingdom." he adds, glancing up. He catches sight of Merlin. He's still glaring at Morgana openly. But then Gwen is there, and why is Gwen here? Where's Mattie? She's tapping Merlin on the shoulder and whispering something in his ear. And then she's switching places with him, taking the jug that he was holding. 

"Your manservant has been called away." says Hedewiga, probably following his eye line. Arthur smiles at her and shrugs.

"Merlin is apprentice to our physician, Gaius. No doubt Gaius has requested his presence with something urgent. He'll return if he's able." he says trying to look relaxed, and failing to feel it.

"Training to be a physician! Your manservant is a man of many talents!" says Hedewiga, whose eyes still seem to be studying the door which Merlin recently closed to leave.


	19. Chapter 19

For the rest of the feast Arthur smiles and jokes and even tries to chat to Hedewiga a little. Her sharp replies and keen eyes raise the hairs on the back of his neck, but he thinks he does an admiral job of warding off her questions and by the end of the evening her questions have turned from Merlin and Mattie onto Morgana and her position at court. Three questions in and Arthur can see the way that Hedewiga looks at Morgana. It's jealousy. Morgana is a rival. She holds power because of her popularity at court and with his father. Hedewiga is trying to establish her rivals for power. For when she is Queen. Arthur thinks it arrogant, but then when he glances across the table to the laughter coming from Lord Bayard and his father, why would she doubt it? Lord Bayard has probably already told her she's as good as Queen. And his father will push him on it, even if he is convinced that Mattie isn't a threat. By the end of the feast Arthur feels mentally drained. He's avoided the wine, best not to lose your wits around Hedewiga or his father. And he forces himself to stay until Hedewiga declares herself tired and announces she is leaving. He then waits a while, takes a glass of wine and declares he will leave as well. Lord Bayard finds it amusing that he has waited up only for his niece. His father's eyes are sharper, but he gets a nod of approval which calms him a little before he heads straight for his chambers. 

He doesn't want to head for his chambers, he wants to head to Morgana's chambers and see Mattie. But Morgana will be there, and his father will be on the look out. So, although it takes all of his energy, he heads to his own chambers. He enters and closes the door behind him, leaning against it heavily. It feels like a great solid barrier between him and the politics of court, the silence of his room an oasis compared to the storm of the feast. Except that it's not silent. There's a crackle of the fire, and then... a sound like suckling. Arthur opens his eyes and steps forwards into the room. 

Merlin is sat by the fire, Mattie on his lap gently drinking from the bottle that Merlin had made for her drink from. 

"Merlin, what are you doing here?" he says, running forward. He wants to be angry, he wants to be sensible. He should yell and shout and tell him to get out and... 

"I thought you might want to see her." says Merlin, he looks tired, his eyes a little red. Arthur can't help but kneel down by Merlin's knees and gently stroke Mattie's cheek and hair. It's so bright, brighter than any gold he's seen, and so fine and soft. Arthur leans down to drop a quick to the top of her head.

"How did you convince Morgana..." asks Merlin

"I didn't, Gwen said she and Gaius couldn't calm her and were getting really worried. She was screaming and screaming. You should see Morgana's chambers, it's a good thing Gwen didn't take her to Gaius'... I calmed her down a little. Morgana came back from the feast early. She wasn't happy, but she saw her chambers and how stressed Gwen was, so..."

"So she let you have her?" asks Arthur, hopefully. 

"She said I could see her, to help her adjust. I said I'd take her for a walk to calm her... I may also have put Morgana under a spell."

"Merlin!" says Arthur sternly, finally turning away from the contentedly suckling Mattie to look up at Merlin. 

"Only a little one. She was sitting on the bed, looking a little tired and Gwen had already gone, so I just said I was taking Mattie for a walk and put a small sleeping spell on her." Arthur knows he should be angry. It was risky, especially considering Morgana has magic, but he can't be. He's so glad to see Mattie. 

"I should get back with her soon though. Otherwise she'll be suspicious when I wake her on my return." 

"I want to hold her." says Arthur looking back up at Merlin desperately. Merlin just looks at him for a moment, a long moment. Then he nods a little, and motions for Arthur to take the bottle. Then he's standing up, and Arthur is sitting and Merlin is laying Mattie in his arms. He swears she's bigger than he thought, she's lying back as she suckles, even though she can sit and is starting to try and crawl, because she's tired and her eyelids are drooping. For a moment she lies in Arthur's arms, looking up at him, a little frown on her face. He thinks she might cry, maybe she's forgotten him already. But then she's reaching a chubby hand and grabbing at his cape, and closing her eyes again. Now Merlin is by Arthur's feet, watching her. But as Arthur looks down, Merlin glances up at him, eyes wide. He chews his lip a little and looks back down at Mattie again, and Arthur is hit again with the feeling that this is what he wants, this. The three of them, together.

"Merlin, I think you should take her back to Morgana." He sees Merlin nod. 

"Then return here to help me prepare for bed." Again, a nod, and then Merlin is reaching forward into Arthur's space. Arthur can smell him, feel the warmth of Merlin's breath against his cheek, feel his arms run along Arthur's as he scoops Mattie up easily in his arms and brings her to his chest. He stands and is moving towards the door when Arthur jumps up, and puts a hand on his arm to stop him. Then he's dropping a kiss to the top of Mattie's head. Merlin's watching him, his eyes flitting to Arthur's, then away again. But then Arthur opens the door and Merlin is disappearing. 

The wait for Merlin to return seems never-ending. Arthur can feel his heart hammering. The silence of the room seems overwhelming until Arthur hears the door creak open again. He looks up at Merlin, who's just pushing the door closed behind him. He's looking at Arthur, and it's that same looking from earlier, a look they've been sharing for a while. It's a dangerous look, and Arthur knows that logically he should ignore it, because nothing can come of this, they can't be the little family of three that he imagined. But he can't ignore this, and so in a few steps he is closing the gap between them, bring his hands to frame Merlin's face and kisses him.


	20. Chapter 20

Arthur feels Merlin freeze against him for a moment, then he's breaking away, but only his mouth. He feels Merlin lean against him, their foreheads touch, their noses brushing together. He can feel Merlin's breath against his cheek, quick. 

"You really meant it, then. When you said you wanted it to just be us; you, me and Mattie?" says Merlin.

"Yes." says Arthur, and then kisses him again. This time Merlin kisses him back, and Arthur can feel himself melting into it. It's addictive, it's like breathing. He almost wants to laugh at how silly he would once have thought it. At how blind he had once been to who Merlin was and what he was capable of. His arms move down from Merlin's face, trailing down his arms, tentatively resting on his hips before he wraps them right round Merlin's waist, pulling Merlin right against him, which makes their noses knock together and earns a muffled yelp from Merlin. But he doesn't push away, instead wrapping his arms around Arthur in return. 

But just as Arthur's thinking he could kiss Merlin forever, Merlin pulls away suddenly, pushing at Arthur's shoulders. 

"Arthur, this is a bad idea..." he sounds scared.

"What?!" says Arthur, not releasing Merlin.

"Arthur, if your father finds out... my magic, he'd already want me dead. If he found out about this..." Arthur frowns. It's true, this does make Merlin's position even more tenuous. Arthur releases his grip, his head dropping. 

"I'm sorry, Merlin. I shouldn't have... I wouldn't never want you to be hurt." says Arthur. Then Merlin pressing closer to him again, and when Arthur looks up, Merlin kisses him again, firmly as if saying something. 

"I... if it was just me, I wouldn't care. I'd take the risk. But it's not just me and you, Arthur. It's Mattie too. If I'm not here, I don't think Morgana would be able to control her! What would your father do if he knew about her magic? What if she revealed Morgana's?"

"I know" says Arthur, and he does. His face drops again.

"But I don't know what to do, Merlin. I want to be with you, I want us to be together, I just don't know how." He feels Merlin kiss his cheek and turns into it because he want more than that.

"I don't know either, Arthur. Maybe, if things settled down, if Hedewiga was gone, if..." They both turn suddenly at a sound at the door. Arthur pushes Merlin away to run to the door. When he flings it open the corridor is empty except a swish of material disappearing down the stairs. Arthur runs, but by the time he reaches the top of the stairs he hears a door slamming. Whoever they are they are long gone. And he has an idea he knows who it was. He runs back to his chambers. 

"You need to go, now!" says Arthur running across to Merlin. Merlin's face is pale, he's looking at the door in horror. Arthur grabs him forcing his gaze away, the kissing him harder than he intended.

"Merlin, we're in this together!" he says passionately.

"Now go!"

\---

The next morning it doesn't take long for the culprit to emerge. Merlin is just laying out breakfast when they both hear the door click shut. Hedewiga is standing with her back against the door. Arthur is still in bed, and he tries to sit up and look bright. 

"Hedewiga, this is a pleasant surpr..." Arthur begins.

"Don't treat me like a fool, Arthur. I heard your discussions last night. I have informed my Uncle too, in case I don't return, just in case you were thinking of doing anything stupid."

"What do you want?" demands Arthur, pulling the cover closer round him.

"You know what I want. And if I don't receive a proposal from you, in front of the entire court then your father will know everything that I do about you, your manservant and your bastard. And when I am Queen I don't want to see them or your father's witch of a ward." 

Arthur is glaring at her, but she just looks on triumphantly. 

"I look forward to your question, Arthur" says Hedewiga, and then she's disappearing around the door again.

"That's it, we're dead" says Merlin, his face ashen as he finishes taking breakfast off of the tray. For a moment, Arthur is silent. Then a smile breaks out over his face.

"Actually, I have an idea! Quick, throw me my shirt!"


	21. Chapter 21

Arthur pulls on his clothes and runs for the door. Just as he's about to disappear, he turns and runs back to Merlin, kissing him quickly.

"This... this is risky. Trust me, please!" then he's running through the door again. 

\--- 

When Arthur returns he is quiet. He looks pale, almost a little sick. Merlin quickly closes the door behind him. 

"So? Did it work?"

"... I don't know. We'll have to see. It depends if she follows through... Merlin we need to be careful. Don't go and see Mattie this morning, I know! I know. But leave her be. I know it's probably too little too late, but I don't want to give Hedewiga any more ammunition." says Arthur, his lip curling in disgusted as he says Hedewiga's name. 

"So what do we do." asks Merlin, 

"We wait, carry on as usual. I'm going to eat breakfast, then go down for training. You're going to clear my breakfast and do my laundry and then get my clothes ready for when my father expects me at lunch, when Hedewiga will be expecting a very public proposal." 

"Will you tell me what your plan is?" asks Merlin, as Arthur shoves a roll into his mouth, then starts to pull his armour on. Arthur gets his arms through his chain mail, then manages to pull it over his head, fluffing up his hair as he does so. 

"No." says Arthur, taking the roll out of his mouth for a moment, before replacing it and going looking for his sword under a pile of laundry.

"Arthur!" says Merlin, frowning annoyance and walking over to him. Arthur stands up straight, and takes the roll from his mouth again. He looks at Merlin seriously. 

"Merlin, I need you to at least look a little surprised for this to work. Besides... I'm not sure it will. And I know you'd think it was probably stupid and far to risky, so please, just trust me." Merlin's about to protest, but he snaps his mouth shut. His eyes are articulate enough without words, the glare clearly conveying Merlin's dissatisfaction with Arthur's answer. But he is silent and Arthur is glad. He smiles a little, kisses Merlin affectionately on the cheek, whispering 

"I love you." before he stuffs the roll back in his mouth, grabs his sword and runs out of the room. Merlin turns to watch him leave, his cheeks reddening. 

\--

Lunch time comes and Merlin is nervous. At the table, next to her uncle, Hedewiga looks imperious and jubilant. Merlin is serving already, having got down ahead of Arthur who has finished dressing, but says he is 'marshelling himself'. So Merlin is pouring wine for a knight when Arthur enters the room, his face serious. Merlin glances to see Hedewiga watch. Arthur almost pauses at the door, and Merlin can see her triumph growing on her almost emotionless face. She's barely smiling but her eyes gleam with the knowledge of her victory. Except that Arthur carries on walking until he is sat down beside her. She turns to look at him and the gleam in her eyes is no longer victory, but rage. There's even a slight tenseness in her jaw that Merlin thinks he can sense. She turns to Arthur. She must be asking him if he isn't going to make an announcement. Arthur hasn't looked at her since he sat down. He doesn't now, only looking up to Merlin and touching his cup to request it is filled. Then he's looking away again and Merlin can see rather than hear him say 'No'. He walks over as casually as he can, and fills Arthur's cup, trying to keep his eyes downcast. They must not be seen to any more than master and servant, not here, not now. He doesn't see Hedewiga react until he has placed himself back against the wall, ready to serve again, within Arthur's sight. 

He thinks she looks furious but then she's glancing away from Arthur and Merlin doesn't want to catch her eye so quickly looks away. Meeting King Uther's eye instead. He's frowning, which isn't unusual, but he's also looking at Merlin. Looking closely, like he's searching for something. Merlin frowns, can Hedewiga have said something already? Surely she would have waited, otherwise why threaten? Was this something Arthur would have said? But that makes no sense either. Except that Arthur said he thought Merlin would think it was a bad idea... Finally Uther turns his glare disdainfully away and engages Lord Bayard in conversation. Merlin stays where he is, his heart thumping, refusing to let himself look directly at Arthur, only glancing across to his cup occasionally to check he isn't asking for more wine. 

Then lunch is finishing up, the servants waiting ready to clear the hall as a few of the knights are leaving and the King and Lord Bayard are standing to leave also.

"Your Majesty, please might I speak!" Hedewiga's voice breaks across the general chatter. Merlin sees Uther turn to face her from where he is standing at the head of the table. 

"Of course." says Uther, but there's an edge to his voice and a narrowing of his eyes that has Merlin frowning. Then Hedewiga is stepping away from the table out into the centre of the room. Her eyes still have that furious look, but Merlin thinks they also look a little wild. She wasn't expecting to have to carry out her threat, and now she's determined to, but she knows it's risky too.

"Your majesty, my uncle brought me to your court to present me to yourself and to your son as a prospective bride. Whilst your majesty has ever been kind and attentive to me, I'm afraid that cannot be said for your son, Prince Arthur." There's a general murmur around the room. Arthur is well liked, which makes Merlin's chest swell.

"He has made little attempt to hide his bastard daughter, a matter that I could have learnt to ignore had I not become aware of his far greater crimes." 

"You will think carefully before you speak any further." says Uther, and he voice is low and measured. To measured. It's not the slow soft speak of a calm man, but the carefully calculated, restrained voice of a very angry man. It sent shivers down Merlin's spine. For a moment he sees Hedewiga blink. 

"Your majesty, Prince Arthur's servant, Merlin, has magic. He has seduced the prince with it, and taken him to bed." Merlin's eyes blow wide and he nearly chokes. He also feels his cheeks reddening. They'd only just kissed, let alone. Merlin doesn't know where to look or what to do. He tries not to look at Arthur as all eyes are on him, but can't help glancing over. 

"Father, will you listen to this!" shouts Arthur, who's eyes are as wide and shocked as Merlin's. 

"I assume that you have evidence of this." says Uther, and Merlin notices he hasn't moved, he's barely glanced across at Arthur, but then his eyes are resting on Hedewiga again. 

"I saw them myself." she says spitefully. 

"But you have an independent witness as well." says Uther, stepping to the side, like a fighter in the ring. Hedewiga falters a little. 

"No, but that is not all. The bastard he keeps also has magic, and that I can prove. For when she cries, she destroys all around her with her magic. Bring her here and give her to someone she does not know, and then you will see that your son has been harbouring sorcerers and keeping secrets!" says Hedewiga triumphantly. Uther doesn't move. 

"Father, will you listen to any more of this. A child? She's no more than a baby, how could she..." says Arthur, rushing around the table to step towards his father. 

"Bring the child" says Uther, his voice still steady. 

"Father!" says Arthur, his arms raised in supplication. 

"I said, bring the child!" says Uther, for just a moment his voice breaking into a shout. But then he is still again. Biting his lip, Arthur glances across to Morgana, who nods. Palely she glides across the room and disappears to fetch Mattie.

"Do you have any other accusations?" says Uther, a slight smile appearing on his face. Hedewiga's eyes dance, although she barely smiles even now. Merlin tries to lean further into the wall. Uther's smile is deceptive, it says tell me more, but it's dangerous.

"Your ward also knows of this magic. And has magic of her own." Merlin swears he can almost see whether Uther wants to tear at Hedewiga's throat, but then the sound of a crying baby fills the hall, and all Merlin can hear is Mattie and the sound of his own heart thundering. He risks a glance at Arthur, who is watching her with a look of abject horror. Morgana might as well be carrying her to the gallows. Then again she may well be. 

"Bring the child to me." says Hedewiga with a sneer.

"No. The child will come to me. The Lady Hedewiga will remember who is King of Camelot." says Uther, still glaring at her. Then Morgana is carrying Mattie across the hall and placing her into Uther's arms. The hall is filled with servants, courtiers and knights. Mattie is screaming and Uther is holding her, looking around critically. Morgana is standing next to them, pale, shaking. Then suddenly the room falls dark.


	22. Chapter 22

The room is dark, but not pitch black. Suddenly there's a terrible clanging and a scream. Then another lot of clanging like an entire table has been turned over and in the dim light he sees that at the other end of the hall two tables have been toppled, their contents on the floor. Over it all Merlin can hear Mattie screaming, but then someone's shushing her and for a moment he thinks it's Arthur, but then he realises it's Uther. Mattie carries on crying still, but Merlin can just make out Uther lifting her up and pulling her close into a hug. For a moment she whimpers still, but then, still sniffing she quietens. A bright light suddenly lights up the room then, disappears again, followed by an angry growl. Thunder. But then the room is brightening, even as a few splatters of rain lash against the window. In the grey light Merlin can see that the two end tables have been clearly over turned. 

"You see my Lord!" demands Hedewiga, her face one of furious victory. 

"What am I seeing exactly?" says Uther.

"Her magic! The darkness, the over turning of the tables!" says Hedewiga, motioning towards the mess at the end of the room.

"I'm sorry! Sorry! I think that table was me! I ran into it, in the darkness" says Gwen sheepishly, rubbing her leg enthusiastically.

"It was you that screamed?" says Uther, pointedly. 

"I've never been good in the dark." adds Gwen innocently. Uther frowns, but fear of the dark is not a crime, so he turns back to look at the table. 

"That only explains one table!" says Hedewiga. There's a sudden lash of rain against the windows behind her and everyone looks to see it coming down like a sheet. 

"My Lord." It's Leon, who is standing guard by the door. He doesn't say anything, only nods to where Lord Bayard has positioned himself close to the other table. Uther's face sets like steel on his former friend. Merlin watches Leon as Uther looks away. His face is unreadable. When he meets Merlin's eyes, there's a slight nod, then he's looking away. Does Leon know?

"So much for 'magic'"says Uther mockingly.

"I did not overturn...!" begins Lord Bayard, but Uther glares at him. 

"The light! She made the whole room dark, you saw it yourself!" says Hedewiga, jumping on a fact. Uther looks at her, then at the child. For a while he seems to think, then he turns and walks over to the window. Outside the sky is still grey, menacing in places. It is still raining. He turns back with Mattie still leant against his shoulder, still sniffling, but trying to hide her face in his shoulder. 

"A freak thunderstorm. You all heard it, and saw it. They are uncommon, but not unknown, and can sometimes be dark as night, even in the middle of the day. I see nothing supernatural about it except for it's unfortunate timing, and that is certainly not evidence enough to sentence a babe to death with!" 

"You saw it!" says Hedewiga venomously.

"I saw nothing but a cheap parlour trick by a young girl bitter at being spurned her chance to be queen. And now we must talk of YOUR crimes. Whilst you have no evidence of the charges you have laid at Arthur's, Morgana's, the child's or Arthur's manservant's doors, you have, by your actions, provided evidence against yourself!" 

"What crime? I have committed no crime!" says Hedewiga indignantly, but there's an edge of nerves in her voice. 

"When my son came to me and told me that the niece of my dear friend had tried to blackmail him with lies such as these, I told him he was a fool and that I would hear no more of it. He insisted that he had told me the truth, and that you yourself would prove it. And you have in your display here today!" 

Merlin risks a glance at Arthur. That was his plan? To tell Uther the whole truth and say Hedewiga made it up? What if Uther had looked a little deeper. What if he's suspected and read into Arthur's 'story of blackmail'? What if he'd spent some time, any time with Mattie? 

"Blackmail? I merely meant to warn your majesty..." she tries to explain. 

"Then why wait until after lunch?" There are gasps from the hall. This is the most drama the court has had in months and will be talked about for years. 

"If you really suspected my son of being in league with sorcerers and liars then you would have come and found me this morning. You wouldn't have sat beside him so casually eating lunch only to announce this afterwards." 

"Your majesty, I..." she starts, quieter but determined. 

"No!" His shouts is deafening. Mattie lets out a louder whimper. Morgana steps forward to take her but Uther stops her with a raised hand. Merlin looks around Mattie earnestly. He sees a chair slightly off of the floor, checks that everyone is watching Uther, then lowers it to the ground. When he glances around to see if anyone saw, the only eye he catches is Gwen's. She smiles, and winks at him. 

"No, you waited because that is the deadline that you gave my son. And so, hoping he was wrong, I waited too. But then you decided to speak."

Hedewiga has gone pale and is finally silent. 

"You decided that you wanted the throne of Camelot, and when my son showed now intention of giving it to you, you threatened to charge all those closest to him with the greatest crimes to force his hand. Well, I'm afraid that I don't listen to the tales of Blackmailers and child murderers. Guards, arrest the Lady Hedewiga, and her uncle."

"My Lord, if I may!" says Morgana, nodding towards Hedewiga. Uther doesn't have a chance to nod before Morgana has stepped forward and slapped Hedewiga around the cheek. There's an audible cheer, but then the whole court bursts into excited chatter as knights rush forward to grab Hedewiga and Lord Bayard. Hedewiga declares her innocence and the magic of Mattie, Merlin and Morgana as she is dragged away. But Uther isn't listening. Instead he's turned away from the crowd and is jiggling Mattie around. Merlin looks around, then risks darting to Arthur's side.

"Arthur," says Merlin, appearing at his shoulder.

"Yes, Merlin!" says Arthur smiling at his success.

"As well, as I think that went... we know have a new problem." says Merlin, his eyes still latched on Uther and Mattie.

"What's that?" says Arthur, turning away from the doors Hedewiga has just been dragged from to look at Merlin.

"Your father likes Mattie." says Merlin. "And now she can control the weather when she gets upset..."


	23. Chapter 23

It's been a month. A month of torture. Because although Hedewiga is gone, and Uther is apparently besotted with Mattie, Arthur and Merlin are still supposed to be keeping their distance from her. She is still officially Morgana's ward, and she is becoming more accustomed to Morgana. But Arthur can see the way that that tears at Merlin when he sees it. It seems that Mattie doesn't need him as much as before, and it's breaking Merlin's heart. It's breaking Arthur's heart too, but it's painful to see it in Merlin. He tries to comfort him.

The change in their relationship helps. Arthur feels comfortable wrapping Merlin in a hug, kissing him, even just holding his hands and asking him how he is. And Merlin is more open, drawing close to Arthur and resting his head on Arthur's shoulder as he talks about how much he misses Mattie. 

"Morgana seems to have forgiven you." says Arthur hopefully one evening as he holds Merlin. They've just returned from an evening of watching as Morgana plays with Mattie, where Arthur has watched Merlin watch on in misery. Merlin hasn't held her in a week and the minute the door closes on the two of them, Merlin is wrapping his arms around Arthur's middle and Arthur feels the tears seep through his shirt.

"I guess she thinks I've paid for my sins with Mattie." says Merlin miserably. 

"Well maybe, but if she's forgiven you we might be able to discuss you seeing her more." says Arthur, determined to stay positive for Merlin. 

"What about your father?" asks Merlin, turning to face Arthur a little more.

"He's so besotted he wouldn't notice if you were making fire with your left hand whilst holding her in your right." says Arthur smirking slightly. 

There's silence for a moment as Merlin seems to think.

"I want her back." says Merlin, and it's strained.

"I know" says Arthur, hugging him a little tighter. 

"She's never going to be mine again, is she." says Merlin hopelessly.

"I... I don't know, Merlin, I'm sorry. I want her to be. Honestly I do. I miss her so much!" Arthur can't stop his own tears from falling at that, but he carries on.

"I wish... I wish we could run away. I wish I could marry you and adopt Mattie and we could live as a family. But until my father dies... and his health is excellent, we can't be together." Merlin looks up at him suddenly, concerned.

"No! Not like... I mean I can't be with you officially and neither can Mattie. We're still.... I mean..." he trails off, unsure how to explain what he and Merlin are. 

"Unofficially." says Merlin, smiling a little. Arthur's noticed the way that Merlin likes to watch him squirm.

"Inconspicuously attached." says Arthur after thinking for a while. Merlin rolls his eyes, but then looks back at him fondly. Arthur's blushing, but he finds the best way to relieve his embarrassment is to kiss Merlin, so he does, and Merlin kisses him in return without hesitation. Arthur still finds it strange and exciting, but he's losing his nervousness about it. His hand has just moved to Merlin's waist when there's a loud knock at the door. Merlin springs away, as the door opens, admitting Morgana, Gwen and Mattie. For a moment Morgana looks between them. A smile begins to play on her lips.

"Are we interrupting something?" she asks, too innocently. 

"Morgana..." says Arthur warningly.

"Don't worry, I won't say anything. Can't say I'm surprised, you've been all over him, Arthur." says Morgana. Arthur turns to Merlin, who clearly looks concerned.

"Why are you here, Morgana?" asks Arthur, suspiciously.

"So suspicious, Arthur! I'm here because I'm not cruel, and I can't stand that kicked-puppy look on Merlin's face any longer. And yours wasn't much better, Arthur. So I've brought her for a visit." She jiggles Mattie as she chats. 

"Was is that obvious?" asks Arthur.

Morgana's look is blunt enough.

"Do you think Uther saw?" asks Merlin, tentatively. 

"No. But then he didn't notice her make her toy rabbit fly or make his mulled wine boil an hour after it had gone cold. He's more besotted than anyone. It's just a good thing no-one else was in the room. Here, Merlin, you take her for a while." says Morgana, and Merlin all but snatches her from Morgana's hands. For a moment Mattie looks up at him confused, and Arthur thinks Merlin might cry, but he forces a smile onto his face. Then a smile is breaking out on Mattie's face and she's flapping her hands excitedly and making incoherent noises. 

"Mamamamumumuam!" 

As desperate as Arthur is to hold her too, the look on Merlin's face at her recognition, at her happiness to see him makes Merlin's face shine and Arthur focuses on it, trying to fix it in his memory for the sheer beauty of it. Both of them smiling and happy. Arthur glances at Morgana awkwardly, and then decides not to care what she thought, and wraps both Merlin and Mattie in a hug. He hears Merlin's breathy laugh as he does it, and a squeal, but not an unhappy one from Mattie. 

"It's not fair, is it." says Morgana, and Arthur's surprised at how serious she sounds. He looks up, and she looks serious too. 

"A lot of things aren't fair." says Arthur.

"It's not fair we have to hide her away. It's not fair we have to hide who we are and so will she." says Morgana passionately.

"Not forever." says Arthur, and Morgana glances at him for the determination in his voice.

"Then we must look to that future." says Morgana, smiling just a little.

"But I'll leave you with her for a while. Gwen will come to collect her in an hour or two." she says, turning and leaving.


	24. Chapter 24

When Morgana returns to collect Mattie a few hours later, Arthur notices that something is off. 

"Come on, Merlin. That's long enough." she snaps, as Merlin takes a while to hand her back. Arthur sees him frown, and his grip tighten on Mattie. 

"Morgana, is something wrong?" he says, moving as if to stand between them.

"Nothing, just give me back my baby." she bites, stepping forward again. The look in Merlin's eyes is dangerous now, and he shows no signs of letting the sleeping child go.

"Morgana..." says Arthur warningly. 

"What, Arthur!" she snaps, turning to face him.

"Something is wrong. I can tell." he says, trying to keep his voice level.

"Why do you care, suddenly!" she says, eyes flashing. 

"What do you mean, suddenly?" says Arthur, glancing at Merlin, who shrugs a little, and looks at her eyes wide.

"You're like a sister to me, we haven't always got on, but... what?" says Arthur, frowning at the look of disbelief and anger on her face.

"Like a sister! Like a sister!" repeats Morgana menacingly, his fingers scratching at the air itchinlgy, impatiently.

"Morgana you're not making any..." starts Arthur, brow furrowed in confusion. 

"I AM your sister!" she yells, stepping forwards. Merlin holds Mattie closer as she wakes screaming. 

"What?" says Arthur loudly, standing too.

"I just overheard OUR father telling a good friend how he feels guilty for missing out on those early years with me! How he feels like Mattie gives him an opportunity to make up for it! Even though he also feels guilty for betraying my fa... Gorlois, whilst he was away fighting honourably, by sleeping with his wife!"

"You're..." starts Arthur, eyes wide in shock. 

"I'm your father's bastard child from a fling with his best friends wife! Now if you don't mind I want to take her and myself as far away from HIM as possible! He lied to ME! " summarises Morgana angrily, but there's pain in her voice too. 

"You're my sister!" says Arthur, looking at her. She turns to scowl at him.

"You're a sorceress, AND your my sister!" says Arthur.

"Yes, Arthur! A dirty stinking sorceress, whose father would cut her head off if he knew! Are you sufficiently disgusted now?" she says, pushing at Arthur's chest forcibly, eyes flaring. But there are angry tears in her eyes.

"What? No! Morgana, Merlin is a sorcerer! Mattie is a sorceress! You're a sorceress! Don't you see?" Morgana looks at him in a way that makes it perfectly clear that she doesn't. When he turns to Merlin and the sobbing Mattie for support, he receives a less angry but equally perplexed look. 

"What is it that saved Mattie?" he asks, the way a teacher would ask an obvious question.

"Uther thinks she's your daughter." says Merlin, rocking Mattie side to side as well as up and down.. Morgana nods her agreement. 

"Family! Well, now you're family! And I think this stupid law needs to go!" says Arthur, smiling.

"What?! But how...!?" starts Morgana, looking confused.

"We tell my... our father to revoke the law." says Arthur.

"What? Just like that? Hello Uther, Arthur and I have been thinking that magic law you're so keen on, the one where you murdered hundreds of people, well would you just mind revoking it?" mocks Morgana.

"Arthur, she's right. It's mad!" says Merlin, holding the sobbing Mattie closer even as she raises her hands in little fists, smearing tears and snot down Merlin's front. 

"Maybe it is. But don't you see! The most important thing to him is family! Well, that's us! You and I, Morgana! And Mattie, who he believes is his grand-daughter! If we go together, and demand that he change the law or renounce us all..."

"Arthur, that's ridiculous!" says Merlin, rocking Mattie all the quicker in his agitation. Morgana glances behind Merlin and raises a hand, here eyes glowing gold. A candlestick clatters back into place on the cupboard.

"He's right, Uther will never bow to such a demand!" says Morgana vehemently.

"What other choice does he have? I am his son and heir! If I tell him that I will stand with my daughter and my sister and my lover! Than he'll have to arrest us all, or..."

"He'll kill me and Mattie, and leave you under house arrest until he can bully you into submission!" says Morgana, quickly using her magic to lower the bed with a loud thud. 

"He won't kill you or Mattie. I won't let that happen." Morgana's head whips round to face Merlin.

"Are you powerful enough to stop him?" she asks him, looking deep into Merlin's eyes.

"Yes." says Merlin, calmly. There's a certainty there that seems to daunt Morgana, but a hesitancy too. 

"But what, Merlin?" asks Arthur, not unkindly. Mattie's tiring herself out, and her cries against Merlin are becoming more subdued. Her podgy little hands gripping into his red shirt leave little round damp marks from her crying. 

"I can keep them safe, but he's never going to stop trying! We're going to end up on the run, and it won't work, just like Gaius said!" says Merlin. 

"You were thinking of running away?" says Morgana, wide-eyed looking between them. Arthur nods, trying not to feel embarrassed. But then he decides he doesn't care and brings a hand up to stroke gently down Merlin's arm as he holds Mattie. Merlin glances at him quickly.

"Oh my, you were going to elope!" she says, looking both scandalised and impressed.

"Mattie is already a risk and she's only going to get stronger!" says Arthur pushing on with the conversation. He can see the conflict in Merlin's eyes. Uther can't go on being blind to flying objects indefinitely. He lifts his hand to stroke Mattie's silky soft hair instead. She turns at the touch to show him a pouty face, and lifts a hand to make grabby motions towards him. Without thinking he lifts her out of Merlin's arms, so much heavier than when he'd last held her. She bunches up, sniffing and making moaning noises and she sucks her thumb, laying her head on Arthur's shoulder. Merlin can't resist reaching up to pet her head at the lose of contact.

"She'll start talking soon." says Morgana, reading his look. "It'll be months, not years."

"Then we're agreed, we have to do something!" says Arthur, looking between them. 

"How can I trust that this 'we' involves me?" says Morgana, looking between them herself. 

"You seem to have your perfect ready made family right here already, Arthur." She keeps looking between them, and it shocks Arthur to realise he can see a glint of fear behind her eyes. Because Morgana has always felt like she hasn't belonged. A ward when he was the prince. Almost royalty, but not quite. And now to know that she's been lied to and cheated for so long. It's a miracle she even told them, probably more out of shock than trust. 

"Yes, Morgana, I do. And you're part of it. You're my sister! I'm not ashamed of that! I'm not ashamed of you! As far as I'm concerned you're a princess of Camelot, whether our father acknowledges it or not! And now I need my SISTER's help dealing with my father."

"And when you're the king?" says Morgana with a sneer. 

"When I'm king, you'll be acknowledged for what you truly are, as princess and sorceress. And you'll always have a place on my council, and my ear on any subject you wish! I swear it!" he says holding out his hands the way he would to a knight. For a moment Morgana considers it sceptically, then tentatively she reaches forward and shakes his hand. 

"I will hold you to your word, Arthur." she says looking him in the eye. But Arthur's not afraid. He's always been a man of his word. So he holds the gaze, and for the moment Morgana nods, seemingly satisfied.

"Good! Now we just have to deal with OUR father!" he says


	25. Chapter 25

"This all looks very official." says Uther, smiling, if a little bemusedly at the group stood in front of him in his chambers. Arthur is awkwardly holding Mattie, and Morgana is stood next to him. Both of them are stony faced, although Mattie is thankfully asleep against Arthur's shoulder, sucking her thumb, which is creating a damp patch on Arthur's red shirt. Arthur's really hoping her cute, harmless look will help prove his point, but he can feel his breath hitching already. His father has always intimidated him, and he's always struggled to shout his father down on anything. But the weight of Mattie against his shoulder reminds him that there are others who need him to speak up now. 

"Father, I... I want you to revoke the ban on magic." he says as calmly as he can. For a moment he can see Uther's eyes crinkle with lack of comprehension. And then he's frowning. 

"Arthur, I don't know what you're trying..." starts Uther, standing up

"You heard me. I want the ban on magic revoked. Too many people have been hurt. And... and Mattie has magic, your grand-daughter has magic." Arthur says, and he's almost shaking. He feels like he's handing his daughter over to a wolf, to an executioner. And there's nothing he wants more than to run away with her, and keep running. 

"Arthur..." Uther's voice is warning, like the growl of an animal. His eyes sharp as they narrow on Arthur.

"And... "starts Arthur, but he doesn't have the heart to say more under his father's scrutiny. He feels a hand on his arm. 

"And so does your daughter." Morgana is stepping forward, and Uther's eyes flare at her. He looks between them, eyes dangerous, teeth bared. 

"You know?" he says, only just above a whisper. Morgana's look confirms his fears, and for a moment Uther's glaze flicks between Arthur and Morgana. Then he's pushing his way between them, violently pushing them apart as he storms towards the door. 

Arthur turns to face Morgana, face ashen, as a hand comes to rest protectively on the top of Mattie's hand. He can feel his breathing quicken. Morgana looks back at him, her own fear only slightly more contained. He hasn't bought a sword. If Uther summons the guards, will Merlin, whose waiting outside, be able to fend them off? It was such a stupid idea bringing her. He should have left her with Merlin, they could be running now! Arthur's thoughts are cut off as he hears the doors slamming shut.

"Neither of you will mention this to anyone!" hisses Uther, his back pressed against the door. 

"What?" starts Morgana, before Arthur can say the same.

"This will be our secret, no one will know! We won't discuss this, this conversation never took place! You won't use magic." he says pointing at Morgana, but then seems to think, "Except to contain Mathilda's, until her own can be suppressed. We may need to move her out of Camelot, somewhere in the country..."

"Father!" says Arthur.

"This isn't a joke, Arthur! The security of the kingdom is at stake. Imagine what would happen if everyone knew my daughter and granddaughter both have magic! There'd be civil war! Armies at our gates! Riots! Rebellions!" Arthur is staring at his father, as if Uther has grown another head. But then Arthur's eyebrows rise. 

"You're not going to hurt them." he says, realisation dawning. 

"What!? Of course not!" scoffs Uther.

"But practising magic is punishable by death!" says Morgana incredulously.

"Yes, but you are my daughter!" says Uther, eyes meeting Morgana's, and for a moment Arthur can't believe he didn't see the similarity in their intense glares before. For a moment they mirror each other. 

"What, so it's one rule for them, and one for us?" says Morgana, stepping back with disgust. 

"Morgana, please..." starts Uther, his voice just a little softer, almost as if Morgana is a child, not getting a complicated point. 

"No! I've had enough. You have lied to me my whole life! And you actions have made me feel like if you knew what I was, you'd cut my head off! And now, it turns out, because I'm your bastard, I needn't have worried!"

"Morgana, I am king, and as king, you have to make tough decisions..." says Uther, sternly. But he's stepping forward, and Arthur can hear just a slight plead in his voice. He fights back a pang of jealousy. Ironic, he thinks, that although Morgana has always envied his position as Uther's son, it's Morgana that Uther really favours. 

"No. No, Father, I'm sorry, it's just wrong! If it's wrong to kill Morgana for it, for Mattie for it, then it's wrong to kill anyone for it!" says Arthur, loudly cutting in. He feels Mattie squirm below him, turning her head to burrow into his shoulder. He takes a deep breath, and starts rocking her. 

"Arthur, you are a Father now yourself. And soon you will be king. When that day comes..." says Uther, looking straight at Arthur.

"When that day comes, I will revoke the ban myself, if you haven't already!" says Arthur, holding his father's gaze furiously. How dare he!

"Urgh!" starts Mattie, low but moaning.

"And for your information, my lover has magic as well. And if you ever, EVER hurt them; my lover, my daughter, or my sister..."

"I am your Father and your King, Arthur!" starts Uther, low but warningly 

"And they are my family. I'm sorry, but they come before you, Father, because they NEED me. So if you ever think of hurting them, I will run away, and you will have no heir!" says Arthur, feeling reckless. It doesn't sound like much of a threat to his own ears, but he sees the way his father flinches.

"I would hunt you down." spits Uther.

"Aargghh!" screams Mattie, twisting in Arthur's arms, hands pushing and rocking herself. The chair that Uther was sitting on rises from it's place behind the fire, gently starting to float upwards. 

"Then you would have to drag me back in chains! What kind of heir is that?" shouts Arthur. But Mattie's screams are ringing in his ears, demanding he act, and he feels his heart racing faster and faster. 

"And now, I am going to take my daughter to bed. And you can tell me you decision in the morning." With that the last of his courage breaks, and as Mattie screams desperately against him, Arthur all but runs from the room. 

"Oh, and as your child with magic, if you hurt him or her, I WON'T run away. And you'll wish I had," adds Morgana. He voice is quiet, and controlled, too controlled. She raises a hand, and for a moment her eyes flash gold. Uther raises a hand defensively, but jumps forwards when his chair clatters down behind him, falling noisily onto it's side on the floor. He turns back to look at Morgana, who holds his gaze for a moment, before calmly following her brother.


	26. Chapter 26

"You're still shaking." says Merlin, not trying to hide his worry. His arms around Arthur's waist tighten. Arthur turns on the bed to face Merlin. They're not in it, lying on it. Merlin's been trying to soothe Arthur since he walked out on Uther. Mattie is with Morgana, which is painful, but even Merlin has to admit that she's the most calm of the three of them. Beside, it's taking all of his attention calming Arthur. 

"I... I just... Merlin, that what so stupid! What if he realises she's not mine..."

"She IS yours! Yours and mine!"

"Yes, but it's only blood that matters to my father. Merlin, what if he realises about you! What if he tries to hurt you, threatens to hurt you!

"Then I'll burn the castle down." says Merlin flippantly.

"Merlin!" says Arthur.

"Arthur, I can look after myself. It's you and Mattie I'm worried about. And, shocking as this is, Morgana."

"But she has magic too" says Arthur, frowning.

"Yes. But she still cares. She tries not to, but she does." Says Merlin

"Takes after her father." says Arthur, somewhat bitterly.

"Passion runs in the family, but it's not quite as... destructive in your generation." says Merlin, leaning up on an elbow to kiss Arthur on the cheek.

"Well, not yet. If my father tries anything with Mattie, I'm not sure what Morgana will do. Not sure what I'll do!" says Arthur. 

"You're not shaking any more... as much." says Merlin, rubbing Arthur's arm.

"You don't need to coddle me." says Arthur, and for a moment Merlin pauses, looking at Arthur, with a frown. But then he carries on rubbing Arthur's arm.

"I know, but I want to. You're my..." Merlin pauses looking at Arthur awkwardly. He's nervous, unsure. Arthur doesn't like that look. 

"Lover?" says Arthur, and he thinks the smile that creeps over Merlin's face might just be worth all of the stress and drama. It starts at his eyes, beaming, and crinkling around his eyelids. And then it spreads to his mouth, breaking into a wide, toothy grin. It's so beautiful Arthur can't help but sit up and kiss Merlin, wondering at his own confidence in doing it. 

"Lover... I like the sound of that." says Merlin, and Arthur can hear the smile in his voice. Then he's kissing Arthur again. 

\---

Arthur is woken by his bedroom door bursting open the next morning.

"Arthur! Arthur, I've come to... this is your lover?" demands Uther, glaring over Arthur, as Merlin tries to bury himself as far under the blankets as possible.

"Er... yes. Merlin is..." says Arthur sitting up. 

"He's a..."

Arthur can feel his cheeks burning, and his heart rate increasing. His father knows now. Knows that Merlin is his lover. More than that, his father is going to realise if Arthur likes Merlin, likes men, how can he be Mattie's father? He knows he's only just come to the realisation himself that he likes men, and he does like women too, but his father's got a very literal way of thinking. He would never believe they haven't been together since the beginning. Besides, surely he'll put two and two together at some point. Arthur takes a breath. Suddenly Mattie's future, her security as Uther's grand-daughter has been pulled from under her. Arthur wonders if there's a way Merlin could magic them, fully dressed to the front gate, onto horses, joined by Morgana and Mattie...

"A servant, Arthur! You're lover is a servant!"

"Er... yes, yes he is." says Arthur, looking up at his father, trying to hold in his panic. 

For a long moment Uther stares at Arthur, then his gaze darts to where Merlin is trying to bury himself into Arthur's back.

"He is beneath you!" Uther snaps and Arthur lowers his head in mock humiliation. He wants to snap back, but he feels Merlin squeeze the hand he's still holding. 

"... I suppose at least this way there'll be no more bastards to worry about! Get dressed and meet me in my chambers immediately. We have matters to discuss. Privately" he says pointedly looking at Merlin. Then he's stalking out of Arthur's rooms, slamming the door behind him. 

Arthur doesn't move immediately. But he lets out a breath he doesn't know he was holding as he feels Merlin's arms wrap around his waist and Merlin's chest against his back. He feels Merlin kiss his shoulder. 

"It's okay."

"It's not okay, my father, the king who burns sorcerers just found me in bed with you, when I told him yesterday that my lover has magic. And now I have to leave you to go to a meeting with him, alone, leaving you here! What if he arrests you whilst I'm gone? What if he has you executed? What about Mattie? Morgana? We need to go and check on them?"

"Arthur!" says Merlin, clamping a hand over Arthur's mouth.

"I can look after myself! You will go and see your father, and I will go and find Mattie & Morgana. When I mentioned burning the castle down, I was joking... but I could do it. I'm... I'm actually quite powerful." 

"Really?" says Arthur, eyes wide.

"Yes, Arthur. Now, I'll dress you, you see Uther, and I'll find Mattie and Morgana." says Merlin, kissing him quickly, before climbing out of bed. 

\---

"You disappoint me, Arthur." says Uther, as Arthur stands in front of him, feeling like a child ready to be chastised. 

"Lady Hedewiga might have been many things, but she was telling the truth."

"She was still blackmailing me." says Arthur. "That wasn't a lie."

"And to waste your time bedding a servant, when you should be focussing on securing an advantageous match..."

"I love him." says Arthur.

"Don't be ridiculous." says Uther, getting up, glaring at Arthur, then turning away.

"I mean it!" says Arthur. 

"It's an infatuation!" shouts Uther. Turning to glare at Arthur again, but Arthur just returns the glare.

"You can't marry him, Arthur! He will never bear you an heir! He has no political ties that will strengthen your reign. He is a distraction, and that is all! You will realise that, with time." he says, quietening. "I have no doubt that your feelings for him are strong, and maybe even noble. But you will be king, as I have been. You will need to think beyond your own person feelings. Think of the kingdom. And what the kingdom needs is stability. You need an heir..."

"I have an heir." says Arthur, so quickly he surprises even himself. 

"Arthur, you don't even have a wife, let alone..."

"Mattie. Mattie is my heir." he says, his heart beating so fast he can feel it against his chest. But he sounds calm, and confident, like he's hearing himself speak, rather than saying it himself. 

"She cannot be your heir." states Uther

"Why not?" demands Arthur

"The child is female, and a bastard, Arthur! no-one will accept her as Queen!" shouts Uther, as if it's the most obvious point in the world. 

"They will! If she is raised as my heir! As yours too, eventually. If they are told from her infancy she is a Princess..."

"Arthur, can you hear yourself? You're being ridiculous!"

"I'm being honest! She's my daughter! And she has magic! For HER sake, we MUST repeal this law! Father, you must see that! Not just for MY daughter, for YOURS!" He sees a slight flinch in his father at this, looking down. 

"You're hurting her too, this law is hurting her!" says Arthur. Uther looks up at Arthur. Then past him, to the door. Arthur turns, to see Morgana holding Mattie. She looks serious. Merlin is just walking in behind her. 

"Is this the part where you threaten me into changing the law?" asks Uther looking between Arthur's, Morgana's & Merlin's faces, a slightly hunted look on his face. 

"No," says Arthur firmly, glancing at Morgana. She looks at for a moment, then turns to face Uther. 

"No. Although, I will say I didn't appreciate the armed guard on my door. He'll have a headache when he wakes up, by the way." she says, jiggling Mattie slightly in her arms. Arthur frowns a little, looking to Merlin. Merlin shakes his head just a little. Arthur suspects there was someone there for him too, but whoever it was, Merlin's dealt with it. 

"So, what are you going to do?" asks Uther. 

"What we said we'd do. We're going to leave." says Arthur, trying to sound as cool and confident as he can. 

"Goodbye, Father." He nods towards his father, then starts walking confidently over towards Morgana, Mattie and Merlin.

"Wait!" Uther's voice is sharp. Angry. But also just a little desperate. He can't keep them back, Arthur realises. He can't hold them, he can't hurt them. He doesn't really have any power over them. And the thought makes his head rush. It's a kind of freedom. He can just walk away, and there's nothing his father can do. He can chase them. He can hate them. They'd end up living on the move, because maybe an army turning up to march them back would be an inconvenience. But Uther can't stop them. And he knows it. 

"Wait. I'll... we'll have to... you're serious, aren't you." Arthur turns to Morgana, and plucks Mattie from her hands. Mattie's fist is stuffed into her mouth, and she's making num num num noises, and dribbling. For a moment she squirms in his arms, before her eyes focus on Arthur, and she reaches a spit covered hand towards him, a small smile growing on her face. Arthur brushes the top of her hair, then looks back at his father. 

"Yes, I am." Uther watches him carefully then, almost growling, sits down, muscles tense in defeat. 

"Fine!"

\---

It's four months later, three months since the ban on magic was officially lifted. And Mattie is causing chaos. 

"Merlin!" shouts Arthur scooping Mattie up, just as a little hand goes to clench around Arthur's chain mail, Arthur's sword and dagger, sitting dangerously nearby.

"Merlin! I told you to put this out of Mattie's reach!" he yells. 

"Gahaha" babbles Mattie, squealing in laughter as Arthur throws her over his shoulder. 

"What? I put your ... I told Fred not to bring your armour up yet!" shouts Merlin, rushing back into the room, pulling at a red jacket uncomfortably. 

"Aren't you dressed yet? We're due downstairs in ten minutes!" says Arthur, exasperatedly. 

"Me?! You're supposed to be dressing Mattie! She's still in her nightdress!" He says, coming over to fuss with Mattie. 

"Would you like Morgana & I to dress her? Morgana's ready." says Gwen, standing in the door, smiling at them.

"No, we're..." starts Arthur.

"Thank you, Gwen. Her clothes are that little pile over there." says Merlin nodding, & physically taking Mattie from Arthur, and handing her to Gwen. 

"Mind out, by the way, she's mastered climbing onto chairs now." 

"Thanks for the warning." says Gwen smiling, and walking over to pick up the neatly folded white pile. "Come on then, Princess! How about Aunty Morgana and I get you ready, hey?" 

When the door's closed, Arthur turns to Merlin, and starts tugging at his jacket. 

"Right, let's straighten you up. Have you remembered your part?"

"No, can't remember a word." says Merlin, shrugging. 

"Merlin, this is important!" say Arthur, shoving him slightly. 

"It's only an engagement." says Merlin, although his reply is just a little too quick. 

"An official engagement! Our official engagement! Your first official appearance. And Mattie being made Princess! You don't think my father's planned anything, do you? He was looking a bit rebellious last night. You don't think he'll disown me? This might be pushing him too far! He could have another bastard son he can put on the throne..."

"Arthur." says Merlin, fiddling with edge of Arthur's collar.

"Yes?" says Arthur, his eyebrows raised in worry. 

"It's going to be fine." and Merlin emphasises the point with a quick peck on Arthur's lips. "Now I'm going to finish putting on the rest of this frankly ridiculous outfit, and then we're going to go downstairs and destroy the future of the kingdom with an engagement party and a cute baby in a pretty dress. Okay?" says Merlin, pausing to look at Arthur. 

"Okay." says Arthur taking a breath, but he's smiling as he watches Merlin walk over to their bed, and inspect the garments upon it.

"Right, now which of these instruments of torture can I get away with not wearing?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Virtual cupcakes for comments, whole bakeries for literary analysis (looking at you Zorn), but also I am absolutely open to editing, as I'm totally unsure about the ending.


End file.
